Dishing The Soaps!

I always enjoy the pretties taking their shirts off. I just wish that idiot EJ didn’t come and ruin things. They should have gone upstairs and just ignored the knocking. Someone wasn’t really thinking because Will would have a key but that would have been awkward too. Nope Mr Idiot shows up with some lame excuse of brochures for preschool. Yeah right dummy.

Then he offers Rafe a job and I just want to smack him repeatedly along with some well aimed kicks well you know where I’m going. I would need a stepladder or something so I can aim for the right location although a kneecap could work too. Hell my knee is bugging me right now and I have no idea why. He’s calling Rafe a rebound. Nope wouldn’t that be you EJ? She gets blackmailed into marrying you which forces her to divorce Lucas and now she’s with Rafe so you’re the rebound and you’re done. Hello obsessed much?

Hope was actually on. She hasn’t been on that much later so I have to wonder if she’s on the hit list too after all Steve and Kayla just disappeared. They didn’t even get a sendoff like John and Marlena did as lame as they might have been. They just left town. No mention of Africa which must be full of Salemites. Just think of all the people that left Salem and went to Africa.

That was funny when Nicole said that Stefano was out bowling. I do wonder about that guy that was following Stefano at the airport. Also something that I think I forgot to mention was why Stefano only wanted pictures of Sydney and never mentioned Johnny his grandson. Now that would be funny to see Stefano bowling along with EJ and that big stick planted up his ass. I just want to smack him some more. He’d probably end up dropping the ball on his foot and I’m sure he’d be utterly horrified to find out that he’d have to wear shoes that other people wore first. Okay that doesn’t sound all that appealing to me either now that I think about it. He could go to the store first and pick up a pair after all he’s rich.

I’m disappointed that Rafe and Sami didn’t pick up where they left off and that of course would be EJ’s fault. He totally did that on purpose since he knew damn well that Rafe was listening. You aren’t very subtle you dumbass. Did I mention how much I can’t stand him? Why can’t there be a mass alien abduction of all those in Salem who just really annoy me.

That was odd how the security guard didn’t want Chloe to go in the room. He certainly likes to manhandle girls doesn’t he? Maybe Victor gave the guard a picture of the I’m guessing he’d refer to as a slut or something and made sure she wouldn’t be allowed in. Aw Brady you’re so sweet but is it worth it to be sweet to this girl. Sure I used to like her but hanging out with Nicole hasn’t been good for her. Is Brady really over Nicole? I should hope so after what that cow put him through and then he gets beaten up because that loser EJ is too much of a coward not to mention insecure in his relationship to duke it out with Brady like a real man. Being tall doesn’t make you the King Of The Universe although I’m sure you do think that of yourself after all you’re a Dimera. And then while he’s in bed with Nicole she turns into Sami which says it all. I’d have to pretend Nicole was someone else if I was in bed with her too otherwise I just might vomit.

 I still find Ridge to be a boob so I just don’t get the appeal of this guy. Girls go find someone else. Of course Stephanie is pushing Taylor to go after Ridge so this screw-up could actually give Taylor an in since she doesn’t want to go after a married man. That is a sound policy. Brooke did have a good point when she mentioned Taylor being a shrink and a grown woman that got involved with Rick. If he’s Satan like Ridge seems to think why did she get involved with him in the first place? Isn’t she supposed to be beyond that or did she just want a hot guy for a change? It is funny because on Days they were related even though they weren’t on at the same time. Since she played Marina Toscano who happened to be Brady’s Aunt because his mom is Isabella Toscano. 

Ridge keeps going on about Rick being a grown man. Hello the same can be said for both Tom and Steffy only she isn’t a man obviously. So that didn’t really make sense because it certainly didn’t stop Ridge from messing around in his daughter’s love life or getting his son out of those pesky stalker/attempted murder whatever charges. He seems to want her to cut ties with her son which he shouldn’t be doing. The guy isn’t some monster and hello there’s no feud unless two are playing the game.

Pam’s mistake ends up coming out and Stephanie couldn’t be happier about it. I lost track of the Oh My Gods she said. Pam don’t watch some stupid game show while you’re typing. I’m thinking game-show since I think Drew’s doing one or did one or something. No idea because I don’t watch game-shows. She screwed up the social security numbers and dates so the marriage between Brooke and Ridge is invalid. I almost expected the old girl to start jumping up and down. I’m sure she’ll just run back to Taylor to fill her in so she can get Ridge back because for some insane reason she wants him.  Does she have a self esteem problem that makes her think the only guy she can have is this moron? She could always consider going gay since there don’t seem to be all that many guys around. Oh yes she could battle for Owen and his mesmerizing black undies. Oh goodie I have another obsession.

Will Brooke and Ridge weather the storm? I’m not so sure and hell even Taylor has lost track of how many times those two have broken up and gone back to each other. I should look it up if someone knows since I am curious. Well I say Brooke’s better off without him if he’s going to let Brooke’s son get in the way of their marriage since she isn’t going to turn her back on her son which she shouldn’t do. It’s not like he’s a serial killer.

This storyline with Anita is just so very heartbreaking. Saira is such a wonderful actress. I just want to cry anytime she’s on the screen. And I want to smack Gov for being such a crap father. Yeah that’s great tell your daughter who poured bleach over her legs that you’re ashamed of her. That’s really great and this earns you the Bloody Awful Father Award which you should wear with shame. At least Bel is making a little bit of an effort. I’m just glad Lelia was there for her.

Kris is on again so he’s helping the Ashworth boys get a singer and it looks like they found the voice they want on their Voice Idol. Oh Kris I’m just so glad to see you back on that I’ll totally overlook that. He’ll tell you when the date is over. But I have to say that wasn’t the best idea to bug Zoe. The poor girl has to redo the film from scratch so she really doesn’t need people interrupting her. Hopefully she left something at Mike’s that could help her out.

And now Anita’s gone and thrown rocks at the windows of the school and if I’m not mistaken she’s filmed it in an attempt to be accepted. It is so crazy because she is the last thing from ugly. Her father was totally clueless after all he thinks she did dunk Lauren’s head in the bog when that wasn’t true and she’s been the victim of bullying and it certainly isn’t helping that the paint incident was filmed and put online. From the first time I saw Gov I thought he was a really mean looking man and he’s just proving me right since he didn’t seem the least bit concerned about poor Anita.

If your kid pours bleach on their legs you should be worried about them not lecturing them and telling them you’re ashamed of them. I say I’m ashamed of you for being such a lousy father. Bel did mention her feeling overlooked. Hello you both see Ash through rose colored glasses since he can do no wrong and of course there’s Ravi who seems to be a total joke in the Roys eyes so where exactly do Anita and Leila for that matter fit in? Oh sure throwing away all of the beauty supplies will just solve everything won’t it? Nope! I hope Bel listens to Suzanne is right about the poor girl needing some help.

I had a feeling that Loretta wasn’t going to quit her job. I can understand why he’s iffy about her job after all a psycho is responsible for Tina’s death. I hope they can get past this. I’m not sure that lying to him about quitting dancing is the best idea. There are just psychos out there so when you think about it the job really doesn’t matter since Tina wasn’t a dancer and it looks like Loretta knows how to handle herself. Hopefully things won’t blow up in Loretta’s face if the truth ever comes out that she isn’t acting like a duck who happen to mate for life or something. I guess they were watching something about ducks.

According to Katie there’s a dark cloud around Brooke. I have one too along with Eeyore. I think it is very telling that he spent the night at Taylor’s. Sure he can use the excuse of being with his kids but that doesn’t mean he had to spend the night there. He could have left after spending some time with them but he didn’t. I thought Thomas or Tom as they’re all of a sudden calling him liked Brooke. Does he not like Brooke anymore? Are they now all anti Brooke because she had the nerve to stand up for her son.

I knew Eric wouldn’t fire Rick just because Ridge told him to do so. I’m glad he didn’t because that’s just ridiculous. He puts everything on Rick but hello he doesn’t seem to have made any effort to try to get along with the guy either. And what was with his lame air quotes? Okay I get that Donna wasn’t a “model” since I’m thinking stripper but come on do the air quotes right. Can’t you even do that right you big dummy?

Okay I now know who Karen is so is this the same chick that played Caroline? I’m thinking yes because Stephanie mentioned how alike she looked. That’s the crazy thing about twins they often tend to look a lot alike. Imagine that. At least we don’t have to worry about Stephanie’s eyesight since she spotted how alike they look. And of course once again Stephanie is butting in trying to get Taylor to make a play for Ridge but why would you want a guy that just bounces  back and forth? So the wedding oh knows what number was recently. I wonder how many times they got together and split up since I watched last. It was when Joe was on the show and they got married in silly outfits at least I think Ridge’s outfit was silly.

The dead guy had his Will read in Stephanie’s office and I wondered why she was asked there because she didn’t get a mention. So was he the original owner of the fashion house before Sally? Well at least Clark got chocolate which is better than Donna who got a box with nothing inside. Was she confused? I bet she went to her Honey Bear to ask him what the dead guy meant by giving her an empty box. I wonder what would happen if someone looked inside her head. Would there be anything in there or would it be empty?

Ridge finally decides to go home because scary Rick isn’t there. Is he afraid of him? He is a moron and I still don’t like him. Sadly there was no mesmerizing black undies today but I hope to see them again since I might have become a wee bit obsessed with them. Hey if you saw them you would totally get why. I wonder if there’s a pool about how long it will take before Ridge and Brooke split up since I think it just might happen after all this is what he does. Come on why go after some guy that goes back and forth between these two. I still think he has a funny head.

It wasn’t looking good for poor Sami when she was trying to convince Rafe to stay. Okay I’ll admit that I might have done a little talking to the screen but hey everyone does that right? At least I admit it. And maybe just maybe there was a little teariness going on too. I’m just glad that he’s staying in Salem and yay the shirt is off so I’ll have that to look forward to in the next episode which is today but since I usually watch this a day or so behind it is likely tomorrow’s episode for me since I watch weird.

Stephanie got all pissy because the security guard wanted to search her. He certainly looked at her ID long enough? Well the guy was nearly killed so you can’t be too careful and who better to finish the job than some pretty girl right? Damn that was one big bag. Couldn’t she just leave it outside or something? I don’t get big purses since I’m perfectly fine with the small one I was able to get at Target. No mocking so far and it’s not like you can tell just by looking at it. No one has pointed and laughed at my purse and if they do so what because I happen to think it’s cute and isn’t bigger than my head.

What a relief that they didn’t take Stefano’s shirt off because I couldn’t handle that. I’m just fine with shirtless Phillip. I did want to give him a little smack though for being mean to Lexie. She didn’t know she was a Dimera until she was an adult and married to Abe so he really shouldn’t be putting her in the same category. Is he going to do the same to Brady since he’s got the Dimera blood in him along with Kirakis and Brady too?

Was that a watch or a bracelet Stephanie was wearing? I couldn’t figure it out. I happen to love silver but that thing on her arm was just odd. I think the same person did Stephanie’s hair and EJ’s since there was a lot of hairspray going on. Don’t light a match near either one of them. I guess they didn’t want EJ’s hair to flop around but that means no mocking since the hair was all in place and slicked back.

Okay maybe something weird happened with the TV while I was watching but I never heard the word Diabetes actually used. Sure the things said certainly pointed at it but I thought that was odd that it wasn’t actually said. Sadly no poison for Stefano and I guess he’s going to see the Sultan in that place I can’t even begin to spell so I won’t even bother. I’m not sure if it starts with a B or not although it does sound like it but some words are tricky when it comes to spelling. EJ mentioned it being a long walk but wouldn’t there also be oh I don’t know maybe an ocean or something in the way too?

I’m just relieved that Rafe came back because for a second there it looked like he was hopping onto the plane to go to New York. Well he was certainly playing it close to the vest because he didn’t look all that happy when Sami came to the airport. And yes it looks like they are getting all coupley but I still refuse to call them the ridiculous Safe. Sorry that just isn’t my thing not to mention that’s a place where rich people hide their money and other items.

Cool another episode with Kris. I guess someone listened when I complained. Okay it’s probably just a fluke since I’m in last week. Yes the weirdness continues because only I would say something like that. You go with your bad self Kris but I don’t think dancing would work since Rhys was playing the drums and Josh was playing guitar or possibly bass. Yes I’m that dumb but that’s what happens when the things look so much alike. Only Theresa showed up for the audition and of course Rhys being Rhys told her to come back later when she wasn’t jail-bait.

If I was giving out an award for Worst Friend I’d have to go with Theresa. Sure she asked Anita if she was okay but she should have made an effort to talk to her instead of going on about the stupid audition. Poor Anita! The losers would be the ones watching that video and the losers would be the ones that dumped the paint on her and another loser would be the one that filmed it so the only not loser out of that equation would be Anita.

She is far from being a minger and I know of what I speak after all I’m a minger myself. I think that’s British for ugly and she certainly isn’t ugly. I wanted to slap Cindy for calling her one and telling her to put makeup on. Talk about a stupid thing to say. Hello she’s sixteen so does she really need to pile on the makeup when she’s already gorgeous without it? We should all be so lucky to be able to do that.

Cindy wants to strip so Loretta’s giving her lessons. Of course Darren is being a perv but I agree with Loretta he’s really harmless and that new name he came up with himself is just funny. He’s a Facilities Engineer or something. Damn I should have written it down when he said it but I think I’m pretty close. I was wondering who was in that big jacket and it turned out to be Dom. See Dom your girlfriend is capable of taking care of herself after all she did throw you against the wall and knew someone was following her and Cindy. Cindy of course was totally clueless but that’s nothing new.

Poor Zoe’s film right down the drain and the stupid teacher gives her four weeks to make a new one when the last one took three years. I bet she wants to strangle Archie right about now and if she doesn’t I offer to smack him around. He just needs to leave her the hell alone. Sure give her tea and then fart before leaving. That’s just so very sweet and I’m sure will inspire the muse within.

Oh poor Theresa burned down the Burger Hut. She is having the worst day ever. So if you spill barbecue sauce after shakes over a customer especially a Crane although never mind about that one because it isn’t revealed at this point you get fired. She throws off the ridiculous hat and oops it lands on the grill and next thing you know the place is on fire. I suggest she works somewhere where things aren’t quite so flammable. It’s a good thing Ethan had already left because he’d really think she was insane.

Gwen decides to come home and gag have more sex with Ethan. Okay I don’t blame her since this Ethan is cute too but that’s all their relationship was since there really didn’t seem to be anything else to it. Too bad she isn’t allergic to barbecue sauce. That was one quick flight. Oh the wonders of being rich and being able to jump from Paris to Harmony so quickly. She doesn’t even appear to have jet lag but I don’t think she was there long enough to even get used to the time change whatever the time change is. Is France on the same time zone as Ireland? That involved math and as was shown earlier me and math just don’t mix.

Faith ends up seeing Sam’s email but she’s all paranoid about the person on the other end which is good but he’s the real deal. He was a bit too eager but I can’t blame the guy since he wants his wife to find out about any loved ones. That is odd that it would come as a surprise that the little girl I think Rosie is her name had a twin. If she knows your name Grace shouldn’t you know she has a twin? So on some level she remembers her twin without remembering her.

Oh Jessica continues to mock Kay. Sure those exercises really work. It does make me giggle when she does the arm movements and says, “I must, I must, I must increase my bust.” Well Kay you aren’t going to get him. I did like this first Kay and first Jessica. This was the one family where the people had some serious makeovers. Now if Theresa was a Bennett she would have been able to change her face but hey with a face like that why would she want to?

Tabitha dresses up like a fortune teller which a weird accent. I’m not sure what kind of accent that is but no one knows who she is and that includes Timmy. Poor Timmy gets taken by the little girl since Grace decided to give her the prize. Well she was the only one guessing the number of jelly beans in the jar so who else was she going to give Timmy to? So Theresa’s fortune awaits her.

Well you can’t blame Rick for Ridge spending the night at Taylor’s place since he did that all on his own. Is there a shortage of men that Taylor and Brooke just have to have him? Is he that good in bed? There is trouble in paradise and I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s another divorce again. How many is it now? Didn’t they just recently get married again? I’m not coming home until Rick’s gone. He pretty much told her that he wants Brooke to kick Rick out of her life. Yeah right like that’s going to happen and what if she said the same to you about Thomas? I don’t think you’d be taking that too well Ridge.

Okay I might be having a stupid moment but I thought Steffy and Thomas were sitting in the living room eating breakfast or does the kitchen look like the living room? Oh the weirdness of rich people. Don’t get me wrong I’d like to be one myself and I already have the weird part now I just need one of those crazy spam emails to actually give me real money like a bag of it stuck right outside. Just ring the bell and I’ll grab it and we can go our separate ways.

I do wonder how Eric will react when Ridge demands he fire Rick. I’m sure that’s going to be good for business first firing Stephanie although she landed on her feet and I say go girl to her and now his son. Is Ridge the golden child or something able to command Eric to do whatever he wishes. That doesn’t seem very professional to me. Is Rick doing a crappy job at work? No idea since I haven’t been watching long enough but that is kinda lame and childish that he’ll run to Daddy to get rid of the big bad Ricky. Why don’t you quit Ridge after all you’re a Morene at least by blood anyway while Rick has the blood flowing through his veins so I’m thinking things won’t go so smoothly with the whole get rid of Rick plan.

I just wanted to smack Eric who got permission from Miss Honey Bear and I don’t even want to know what he was doing before because the hair says it all to come see Stephanie. Well isn’t that big of you to show concern over your mutual friend’s death? That was great when she told him to piss off only in a nicer sort of way. She needs to get on with her life since she’s wasted so much of it with him so maybe you should take a cue from this Brooke and Taylor since you’re doing the same thing with Ridge. I think he enjoys bouncing back and forth between two beautiful women. I still don’t know what they see in him. I’d much rather go back to Owen wearing those mesmerizing black undies but alas he wasn’t on.

Yikes Archie was just an idiot. Don’t pop the champagne near a laptop so down her film goes down the drain. I wonder if he cheats which would explain him not having any worries about failing his exams. Just a thought. I think I’d strangle him if I was Zoe. She hasn’t been around that much either. Maybe she’s been hiding with Kris since he hasn’t been on much lately either. They could console each other.

Poor Anita I just feel so bad for her. The crazy thing is that she’s gorgeous herself but people are just stupid. For me it was the reverse since I’m pale so I’d get stupid comments and they do affect you. So sad that she resorts to buying bleach to lighten her skin. I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if Lauren was in it with Gaz since she did have the video. She could have been the one filming it while Gaz and his band of nitwits poured the paint over her.

As for the Teletubby I’d go with Lala. I guess it’s a pretty sad day when you end up asking what your favorite Teletubby is. Yes I’ll admit to watching it because I’m just strange that way and I can even doing a decent impression too. Rhys and Josh were funny arguing. I wonder where he wants to stick the biscuit. Since I’m odd I do wonder what they call actual biscuits since that’s what they call cookies. See it gets confusing and they call fries chips and chips are crisps.

Poor Dom was going to ask Loretta to move in with him and Darren had to go and ruin everything. I just wanted to smack him. It looks like Cindy is a quick learner on the pole. I’d probably end up knocking myself out if I tried doing some pole dancing. That was funny when she threatened Darren by grabbing onto little Darren. He better watch out because he really doesn’t want to mess with her.

Well that guy was a total jerk. I don’t really blame Dom for wanting to go after him. Guys can be so stupid not to mention clueless. That was her job and in the street she’s just a regular girl going to see her boyfriend which means hands off you sodding idiot. I’m sure she gets that a lot so actually in this case heels would be handy just in case you need to give the jerk a nice swift kick to the well you know what I mean.

Imagine that I’m actually on the right day for Day for a change since I usually get a little behind on one show or another. I’m so glad Sami went to the airport. I don’t want Rafe to go. I was thrilled when Galen showed up but his character is iffy since he could just disappear while Eric got a more solid character being Brady. Did that make any sense? Well I did confuse someone today but thankfully the confusion was unconfused. I should have a hat made or something that says Unconfuse The Confusion. Yes I declare that a word so feel free to use the word unconfuse. Well I did use smellologist before it was used on Veronica Mars.

Finally there’s an explanation for Mia’s trip to the hospital. She had an accident with the rail down at the pier. That place is turning into a real deathtrap. Also that sounds like something I’d do because I’ve fallen in many a strange place and a few that I can’t even begin to explain. I thought Dr Baker was going to tell her about Sydney not being her baby but he hasn’t. I guess he realizes that it is best to not say a word when you’re doing a little blackmailing. It can be fun though since I’m sure Vincent had lots of fun terrorizing Harmony although I don’t blame him for wanting Ethan.

I’m glad that Brady told off EJ. Just because you’re British which is weird by the way since his family is Italian and taller doesn’t mean that Brady can’t kick your ass. After all you did have that goon beat up Brady which shows what a coward you really are that you need to hire someone to do it for you. I hope Victor does take care of him because I don’t want to see him smile ever again. Wow he heals fast doesn’t he? Oh yeah I forgot the miracle of living in Salem where you recover when anywhere else you’d end up dead like Phililp or Kate.

I hope Rafe stays. I’d be holding on to him too. Well any excuse would do really. Come on Rafe stay and be a daddy to little Grace who is just so darn cute. I’m kinda rooting for Sami to get both babies. I do feel bad for Mia though since Nicole bullied her into handing the baby over and then she just tosses her aside. I’m sure she’ll feel that connection the more she hangs out with Grace.

I think Will might be growing on me a little bit. Hey who knew that baby sister bait would work. When a new actor turns up sometimes it takes a while before you accept him although I loved Robert pretty quick when he stepped in to play Bo not that I don’t adore Peter as Bo too but that was one recast that was just awesome. That doesn’t happen all that often since the original is usually better or at least what I consider the original. An example of that would be the character of Mike Horton played by Michael T Weiss and ruined by Roark Critchlow no offense by I really didn’t like him as Mike.

I do wonder what’s going on with Stefano. I just loved that Lexie was not in the mood to deal with him. I was kind of hoping he’d fall on the floor and split his head open or something. Was he really poisoned? That is the burning question but that hasn’t been revealed yet. Could this be part of Victor’s plan to bring down the cyclops? Hypocrite Stefano after all you are the one that put a hit on Victor’s son so it’s understandable that Victor would strike back. Oh the going ons of the rich and crap I really don’t think of another word since I wouldn’t really consider Victor evil while I would with Stefano. I’m rooting for you Victor to be the victor but in the meantime try to get Brady interested in some other girl that isn’t that nasty Nicole who is just now cluing in to what kind of family she’s just married into. Dumb blonde much Nicole?