Dishing The Soaps!

Things are really working out for Kate. Of course no one thinks of the other time Kate tried to bump someone off. Of course this time she’s more hands on which makes me think that it’s partly because of the woman scorned bit along with her always being way too involved with her son’s love life. Too bad Lucas isn’t around for him to put two and two together since he saw the “liquid vitamins” himself. She’s probably not trying very hard to reach Lucas hoping that Chloe will just hurry up and die. Too bad Enormous Jackass didn’t get poisoned food too.

Mel mentioned another guy. Sure the smart thing would have been to drive him home instead of to the cabin. She was thinking of Stephanie and she did pull away. She knew that it wouldn’t have meant anything since Phillip isn’t over Stephanie although I did notice her implying that things might be different if he actually meant it. Yep I smell a quadrangle in progress.

I haven’t kept track but it is Nick and Bridget’s one month anniversary. He gives her a rinky dinky photo album but at least he ends up giving her a pair of earrings. If I’m not mistaken I think they might be marcasite and if they are not such a fortune. Put the earrings on the end table before going back under the covers to play Doctor. At least I think that’s a good idea because earring backs tend to go missing often and hell the whole earring could too and end up sucked up into the vacuum.

Brooke texts Boob who stupidly left his phone at home. Boobette 2 didn’t like how long Daddy was taking and once again not a thought about Rick. I guess he’s served his purpose since it is so obvious that she was using the relationship to get Mommy and Daddy back together. Hey I thought people were supposed to be very attached to those damn things. Boobette sent texts back to Brooke and they weren’t nice plus there was a picture of the Boob and Boobess. Poor Brooke should just forget about him. Let Boobess be miserable with him since she deserves it the pathetic wench.

Yes today is Wednesday and I was going to post a few but sadly I can’t because the stupid thing isn’t working which is all kinds of fun. I don’t know what the hell is going on but I can’t working on my website either and ick I’m unable to make this readable. Oh well this is out of my control but I’m still around so next I’m going to check my regular blog to see if I have better luck over there.

Since I’m unable to tolerate the horrors of this piss poor excuse for a library there won’t be any posts for the next few days. I’ll risk the library again on Wednesday which means I’ll be a bit behind on the posts although they are going to be written up so I’ll have them with me while I brave the evil library. I just can’t stand this one since I have actual standards so don’t forget to come back and wish me luck.

Thank you and hello there’s another thing added to that growing list which would be Tie Porn. Who knew a tie would look so hot. All you need to do is get a hottie to take his shirt off and put it around his neck. Jackie was certainly having fun so you go girl. Owen was jealous though and he certainly didn’t like it when Jackie and Whip were flirting. Is it just me or does it look like Whip might like Jackie? So this certainly points towards the marriage being legit. Why do people find it so hard to believe? So it’s fine for the girl to be younger but not the guy? I say right on Jackie and enjoy every minute of it becuase he’s just so damn pretty. Thank you for taking your shirt off.

I think Pam might like Clark. Well that would certainly be an interesting pairing and if it takes away from The Booby Bunch I’m all for it because the less of them I see the better. Once again Rick is nowhere in sight so I’m still thinking Boobette 2 was the one doing the using because she has exactly what she wants Mommy and Daddy together but he doesn’t look all that happy since he’s just letting himself be bullied into it because that’s what he should do. Dude why not try being alone for a while. Would that be such a bad thing to do? The idiot said he wanted some peace and quiet well here’s a thought just be by yourself for awhile so you can try to figure out what the hell you want although I think he wants both.

I just wish Brooke would give up on Boob because he so isn’t worth the effort. Boobess is just pathetic and she did look worried when she found out that Boob went to tell Brooke. If he really wanted to marry Boobess because he’s happy with her why tell Brooke? Why did he feel the need to go over there? I think Brooke’s right in saying that he wanted Brooke to stop him because he’s too much of a coward to stand up say he really doesn’t want to marry Boobess. Find someone else and stop butting in Stephanie but that won’t happen because she wants The Booby Bunch together. Hello you do remember you have other children don’t you? Why not help Thorne get someone? And shouldn’t she not like Boobess because wasn’t Thorne married to Darla? So all is forgiven with Boobess and Rick is considered the spawn of Satan. Is it the lips? Maybe she has magical powers where you stare at her lips and get hypnotized? Hmm did I just potentially come up with a plot bunny?

Well that’s a bit of a letdown that the big surprise turned out to be some skateboard thing. Oh the excitement. I think Anita was hoping for something else and oops no money to pay the bill either so Anita was stuck paying. Ricky’s totally hiding something. So all is not well on that front. Maybe his Dad’s a drunk or something which would explain him not wanting her to go to his house.

What a guy thing to say when Wade said he thought it was just a one off. At least he had some sense when he said that Lauren isn’t over Newt which she isn’t. Come on Lauren don’t be a boob with a British accent. Okay that won’t make any sense unless you also happen to read The Bold And The Beautiful posts. I guess he won’t be around anymore since he’s going home wherever home is.

Dumb move Zak telling Hayley about the money. That was pretty sneaky of her to sneak over to the place to try to find the money. I can’t believe she was saying that all of them couldn’t be trusted. Sure I see that about Archie but Elliot and I like Kris and besides the money isn’t something he’s concerned about since he’s too worried about Ravi who is being such an idiot. I want to smack that boy. Elliot uses his big brain and gets a safe so the money is fine. Each of them will choose a number and they won’t know it so only the four of them together will be able to open the safe. Now that’s smart although they could always just split it up right now and put it in the bank but of course that won’t happen.

Ravi waffles again when Ass bullies him into doing the fight and he throws the money back at him. I wish someone would tell him to start fighting instead of bullying people into fighting. He should have stuck to his guns and refused because it is dangerous for him to fight. Kris is just being a good mate but of course Ass is his typical asshole self and just calls him a fairy. Why exactly is he a fairy? That is just one of those things I don’t get. What difference does it make if he likes guys or girls? He’s just concerned about his friend putting himself in dangerous situations. Shouldn’t a brother care about his little brother? I guess not when you’re the Golden Boy. Ravi isn’t dumb but he is certainly making a huge mistake when he has absolutely nothing to prove so that was well out of order when he punched Kris in the stomach.

Ravi does apologize and Kris tries to talk some sense into him but it just isn’t working. There’s really nothing Kris can do at this point. Ass shows up acting like a you guessed it an ass. He wants Kris to stay away from Ravi and of course he’s being nasty as ever. I don’t blame Kris one bit for finally spilling the beans. He’s been there for Ravi through this whole thing and frankly the guy’s family should know. Now will this stop Ass from being an such an ass? I hope so but like a leopard that can’t change his spots I’m thinking he’ll always be an ass but maybe he’ll start thinking about someone else for a change instead of himself and his pocketbook.

Maggie really bought that bogus call. It sounded fake to me but of course I know that Kate pieced together bits of conversation to make a bogus phone call. Well that was lucky that Bo and Hope turned up. Bo tried to call but he talked to Chris who thought Bo was some crazy fan. Hee Bo called Chris a crazy woman. Well he is quite a character. Remind me not to get on Kate’s shit list.

Damn those brownies must be good even though they’re poisoned since she kept munching on them. Finally she saw sense and planned on leaving Lucas and they were ready to do it in kitchen but Chris ruined their fun and a potential shirtless moment. Shame on you Chris. And now she collapses again so things aren’t looking good but of course things are going great for Kate.

Nicole you’re still not the person you should have been. Okay one good deed but it wasn’t exactly selfless on your part since you want to save your own ass. You want Sami to have Johnny so no one will poke around in your business. It wasn’t that great and yes she had to Will to cover her own butt. But I do think somewhere deep, deep down she might have a twinge of guilt after all she did start crying.

I just want to smack Chad can he not get a clue and leave Mia alone. It must be really handy to be rich since you have money but you can also find out things which allowed Nicole to threaten Chad but will that scare him away? He seems pretty damn determined. If Mia leaves that laptop somewhere all her secrets could be revealed. So once again Nicole does a good deed but of course it is for her benefit too because she doesn’t want anyone to know the truth. Well I do because I want to see Enormous Jackass go all crazy and possibly turn red. I’ll watch for smoke to come out of his ears too.

Oh Bo did you just give me a idea. Well I have to admit that Chris does sound like a crazy woman so don’t be surprised if I do a drabble or crackfic because I was inspired by that. Things are falling into place for Kate since of course she wants Maggie to spill the beans. And now the name of the drug is revealed and I have no clue what it is but hey I’m not a pharmacist but at least now they know what it is and it sounds pretty nasty but will Daniel be able to save her before he gets arrested?

Oh Bo I do love you but think for a minute would the guy just leave the drug he was using to poison Chloe lying around his apartment? Come on can’t you smell a setup? I guess he can’t. And I wonder if I was the only one that was amused by Chloe’s seizure. I’m sorry but it just looked so funny much like that time when Andrea at least I think it was her on 90210 got hit by a car. Some things just look funny even if they aren’t if that makes anything resembling sense.

Phillip ends up getting drunk and Melanie takes him I thought home but they end up at the Horton cabin. Don’t you have to take a boat there? Am I the only one confused by that? Of course he’s acting like an idiot and what girl is going to want him all drunk and miserable like that? Okay I’ll try to lay off the hair after all I did post that crackfic earlier today at my website but come on his hair was just a mess. Is he hanging out with Will? I’m not sure about Melanie and Phillip. I think there’s going to be a quadrangle or foursome whatever the hell they call it. Well they call three a triangle so I’m just going up a number since I’m sure Nathan is going to get caught up in it too. Why was he surprised that Melanie left? You left dude but Ari certainly didn’t help because she failed to mention that the guy she left with was drunk since it’s not like she decided to just go off with some other guy. She didn’t want him driving because he was drunk.

Guess what Sasha and Josh are doing? Try again. Oh yes they are still drinking. I would think they’d be peeing and puking more but no one seems to be heading off to the loo for either thing. And who is Renaldo? Should I know who that is? If the drink is so scuzzy why are you drinking it? Wouldn’t that be your cue to put the glass down instead of continuing to drink? Well maybe the language barrier is rearing its ugly head again but somehow I don’t think so. Scuzzy sounds not good tasting so hopefully the thing is cheap.

Oh excuse me your highness. That’s something to really brag about being a Karaoke Queen. That would be a good reason to get drunk right there after all if I started singing peoples ears would start bleeding so I’m sure a few drinks will help stop that. At this rate they won’t be able to go into any pub since they’ve been tossed out of all of them. And poor Sasha’s dress was ripped. That was the shortest catfight ever.

I don’t think I’d want to grab her after all she does have crabs so I wouldn’t want to get too close. She’s pretty trashy but sadly there was no singing. Well I kind of figured that would be coming. Yes Josh and Sasha got it on and did it in Dave’s bed. Well at least it was a bed but of course that’s going to make things a wee bit awkward and hey Rhys is going to show up.

Finally my demand was met but sadly it was just so short so hopefully it will pick up tomorrow. I do miss a tub. He wasn’t wearing the bedazzling black undies since I saw white. I feel a little cheated because there wasn’t any stripped going on except for the removal of his shirt. Well I guess I’ll take what I can get when I can get it. It helps me stomach the rest which is just same old same old only with new people saying it.

Now I’m more convinced that Boobette 2 is the one that was using Rick since she said it herself that Rick would always be in the way and she did imply that she wasn’t sure if the relationship would have a future after all he’s served his purpose right Boobette 2? I’m sure you’re doing Boobess proud. She’s acting like Brooke’s the villain of the piece when hello Boobess isn’t all squeaky clean herself. I find it interesting that her drunk driving that resulted in killing Pam never gets thrown back in her face yet Rick gets named the Devil because he had a car accident. Guess what they happen. Sure they are tragic and sometimes someone dies but it is just an accident unlike Boobess who was drunk which is a whole other thing yet she’s treated as some kind of Saint. I guess it’s because she has Stephanie’s stamp of approval.

Bridget popped in. I guess she flew in from Bon Temps where she’s posing as Daphne or maybe that’s a twin sister she doesn’t know about. Hey did I just come up with a potential plot bunny? Hmm maybe I did which I might think about a bit more and post over at my website. Whip wanted to use her as a model but she wasn’t up for it so she has that in common with Boobette 2. Next he decides to cash in on the cougar angle after all Jackie’s a good looking woman and she has an incredibly gorgeous husband. At least Whip won’t be boring but dude his name is Owen not Oscar. That just makes me think of someone green and grouchy. Oh wait that would be Oscar the Grouch. I do thank him for the tub though.

Owen ends up pulling Jackie away and hello there’s a nice inviting bubble bath just waiting for them so of course they have to practice if they’re going to do a billboard that has the two of them in a tub. Hey if it gets Owen out of his shirt I’m all for it. I’ll just imagine I’m there instead of Jackie. Lucky Jackie! I’m sure Nicky will have some interesting facial expressions. At least he’s more entertaining than his dimwitted brother Boob who is just an idiot. Have I mentioned how much of an idiot he is although Nick’s being one too but I guess he’s being an idiot with good intentions although Owen hasn’t done anything that suggests he is anything but a man in love with a woman who just happens to be older. This isn’t impossible but I think Nick has a crush on Owen because he’s just so darn pretty.

If Boob had half a brain he would have spent some time alone but no he accepts Boobess’s proposal like a total moron. It make the Boobettes happy too. That just shows how pathetic she is and then she brings Phoebe into it saying that she’s the one that brought them together. Now I don’t know about anyone else but if I was Phoebe I think I’d be rolling in my grave right about now but maybe she’d be a Boobette too. No idea so she gets her name since I’m not sure how I’d work that out in the Boobette ranking. She could be yelling at them telling them how stupid they all are.

Brooke of course is bummed and regretting that bonehead move she made. I knew that would come back to bite her on the ass. Katie came over to see how Brooke was doing. Why does she have a fire? You’re in LA so you really don’t need a fire. Maybe she just likes looking at the pretty fire. I just wish she’d give that loser up and find someone else because he’s so not worth it and he didn’t even look happy while the other members of The Booby Bunch were looking through family albums. Grow a pair and go be alone for a while since this whole getting married thing is such a stupid idea but this is Boob I’m talking about so stupid is something he does best. And I’m going to try to ignore the fact that he’s a lefthander after all I can just think of Owen instead in his leftie sexiness not that he’d be any less hot if he wrote with his right hand.

Well I won’t go into the rant at least not about the reason behind the delay so on to the babbling. I was a bit confused at first when Brooke seemed to be into it but nope she was just messing with Whip. To quote a jackass in Salem, “Dude she’s just not that into you.” You can feel free to give me a massage or foot rub anytime Whip since that sounds nice. Nope for some insane reason Brooke wants her Boob. Maybe she should take a sanity test complete with inkblots.

I’m baffled about Boobette’s attitude towards Brooke. Why go after the one person that was actually supportive of the relationship with Rick instead of joining the others and forbidding two consenting adults from being together. Sure a kid wants their parents together but guess what that doesn’t always work and Boobess isn’t the only one that’s had pain so that was pretty shitty of her to tell Brooke to back off. Did she just use Rick to get her parents back together? Okay maybe this is an oddball thought because people seem to hate him and think that he only got involved with her to break up Brooke and Boob but what if it’s actually the other way around. I haven’t seen her with Rick at all lately and even when he’s around she isn’t really with him so I have to wonder about that.

I think Pam likes Whip and she did make a good point about his name. Oh of course Pam wouldn’t have a single naughty thought. Yeah right I’m sure she learned a thing or two watching Dimbo with her honey bear. And he does like her Lemon Bars. Maybe she puts booze in them. Now Stephanie is stumped because the man candy isn’t working on Brooke. When will it occur to her that for Brooke this idiot is the great love of her life although I can’t figure it out myself. If someone can please let me know because I don’t get it.

Oh yes Boob is really happy with Boobess. Hello pathetic much Boobess asking Boob to marry her. What the hell is that? They’re back together for ten minutes and she’s already asking him to marry her. I guess she thought she’d strike right now after all Boob did run after Brooke and he was later spotted by Boobette 2 hugging her and comforting her. Yes Brooke was stupid when she put Boob’s hand in Boobess and told them to be together since she clearly wasn’t thinking. I know that made no sense to me. The idiot should be alone for a while but of course that won’t happen with Mommy plotting with Boobess and of course the Boobettes plotting to get the two married. And damn it all there wasn’t any Oweny goodness to enjoy during the stupidity of The Booby Bunch so yes once again The Booby Bunch dominated. At least Pam was around to lighten things a little bit. Did you not listen to my demands? Owen needs to be shirtless if I have to suffer through The Booby Bunch. Shudder to think how horrible it would be if this soap was an hour long.