Dishing The Soaps!

Okay take a lesson from Hannah that getting drunk could end up with you getting married to Darren. Oh the horrors of that. Sure he can be sweet at times like Zoe mentioned but it’s easy to forget that when he’s so often a total idiot.

I still find it odd that the washing machine and dryer are in the kitchen but I guess it makes sense if you have a small apartment or as the Brits call them a flat. See I know some British. I think someone got the ring from the same place that Jimmy got Chloe’s. Hannah and Chloe could have compared crappy rings. Do I smell a plot bunny?

So Hannah’s determined to get an annulment which is a good call. I just had a disturbing thought about Rhys. Okay he’s amusing and he just popped up asking about Nancy standing around in their panties while he was folding the undies. Isn’t it possible they were Hannah’s after all she was doing laundry? And he so shouldn’t judge does he need to be reminded of Beth. She gives the ring back and heads off to a lawyer to set things in motion while Darren acts like his moronic self.

Cindy’s talking and maybe it was just me but it sounded like she was thinking about giving him another chance once he got the annulment but Darren left and headed to The Dog. He surprised everyone including me when he told Hannah that he thought he loved her. Oh yes that makes a girl all tingly when the guy thinks he loves her. No wonder Hannah went a little nuts there for a bit with her family smothering her and Justin leaving. Give the girl some breathing room.

I feel so bad for Spencer and I so wasn’t surprised when it turned out that it was Ash or Ass as I call him was the one sending the texts. That is just cruel to do that to the poor guy. He actually believes Warren is alive and will be coming back for him. But of course this is typical behavior for Ass who so deserves to go to Hell for the things he does. Can someone please beat him? Talk about someone that deserves a beating.

Of course he’s doing it so he can buy The Loft because Spencer got everything. I hope someone finds out before it’s too late. I just wanted to smack that bastard and kick him too. And stomp on his foot with a spiked heel. I don’t even wear heels but I would just for him while I was just standing of course because those things are death traps and just stomp on his foot and stomp some more.

Malachy looks pretty bad and I had a feeling he wouldn’t go to the doctor. When the guy doesn’t want the wife to go with him that would be a red flag that he isn’t planning to go. I think he’s afraid of what the doctor will tell him since he’s really sick which isn’t good for him with his immune system all shot to hell. Crap are they going to kill him off? Boo hiss! But with Malachy came some McQueens which I always enjoy although I’m not liking where the Malachy thing is going because I’m thinking he’s a goner.

Zak had a dream about Mercedes. It was one of those sitches where you were confused at first because sometimes the opening can be a bit confusing. It didn’t help matters when she wanted to talk to him and Michaela accused him of flirting with Mercedes. She just wanted Zak to train her for some gladiator whatever thingie that Mal was going to do before he got sick. Actually I hope she loses because I don’t want Miss Heaving Bosoms to go. She’s fun and color me surprised when the girls were completely covered.

Oh Elliot you don’t go around telling other people about your mate’s dream. Also you might think twice about revealing a dream especially that kind of dream. I wonder if he had a dream about someone and of course I wonder who the someone is. He didn’t say anything but it certainly looked like he might have had a dream about someone himself. Maybe it was about Kris which would be amusing.

Right about now I’d be babbling about a soap but I can’t do that because of that damn memorial so this will be part rant but I thought I’d give the crackfied thing another go. It just happened by chance when I was delayed in seeing an episode of Days so I did this crazy post about Chloe and her hair flying around and I think there might have been aliens too. You’d have to track that post down to get the gist. I did move all the posts over here from my regular blog since I’ve only been writing over here since April.

So yes I’m annoyed about my soaps getting booted for the memorial. Why does this one person get this treatment when so many others have died recently? Is it sad when someone dies? Of course it is. Do stories on those evening shows like Dateline or whatever but why the hell do you have to screw up my soaps? It was bad enough Days wasn’t on Thursday and Friday thanks to stupid tennis but now this is mucking up my soap again. Of course I had the bad luck of catching my first soap on the network voted most likely to murder soaps since there have been six cancelled in the time I’ve watched soaps and I’m thinking the other two networks probably don’t even add up to that. So now on to the crackified portion.

Owen decides that he must always wear his black undies to spellbound ladies everywhere. Just one look at him and you’re going to do whatever he wants. He has Rick join him and they plot to finally get rid of Boob once and for all after all he’s such an annoying nuisance and Rick promises Owen that he’ll try to deal with the Nick sitch after all he did find that potion.

Boobess wakes up next to Boob and realizes what an idiot she’s been and leaves the house. While she’s on her way to see Stephanie she gets abducted by aliens. The aliens are intent on picking up a few others since they swing by to pick up Nick but due to quick thinking on his part Nick is able to elude capture if he promises to let his mother be happy with Owen even if he has a plot to steal her money and he even admits that part of his insanity is the crush he has on Owen.

Brooke decides to stop mooning over Boob and to get out there again. She decides to go to a bar where she finds Stephanie. The two start drinking together and end up having a good time. They hook up with two guys and end up giggling in the wee hours of the morning as they leave the bar. They share a look and vow never to tell another soul about the night out they spent while thinking they must do it again soon.

Meanwhile in Salem Sami finds a way to deal with the EJ sitch. While she was searching online for information about Emily she finds a spell to open a portal to Hell. After translating the spell which was written in some bizarre language she gathers the supplies she needs. She casts the spell and there’s a bright white light. After it fades away she finds Johnny in the living room. She runs over to him and picks up up hugging him tightly.

Rafe comes in because Sami gave him a key and he sees Johnny. He asks about the light and Sami tells him about what she found although she doesn’t mention the Emily thing. She was going to let it go because he’d talk about it when he was ready. She didn’t want to lose him since he was such a good man and adored her kids. Johnny would need a father with EJ out of the picture and now that she thought about it she wondered if she should get rid of Nicole too for being such an irritating bitch.

Chloe finds out about the poisoned apple and plans her own revenge against Kate. Just by chance she had some orange juice which cured her of the poison. Chloe searched online and found the perfect cure. She was going to make her permanently bald and turn her into an old man. She laughed as she cast the spell knowing that she wouldn’t have to deal with that dreadful woman ever again. After that she left Lucas a note telling him that she was sorry but she couldn’t go on this way since Daniel was the man she really loved.

Okay I was expecting it to be a little longer so I’m sure this post will actually be longer than the episode was or I guess I should say webiosode. Well the Harper’s Globe ones are longer although confusing and hey that’s a whole other story and whole other blog for that matter.

I thought I’d check it out and hello Josh who decided to go out on the town. All of a sudden he’s out of Hollyoaks and I guess in Manchester. Whoa things happen really fast over there in the UK. I would have loved it if Kris was in it but that’s just me. So he gets drunk and Dave’s there too along with some other people and the bartender named Ruby.

Oh yeah one girl’s name is Gabby and she got up just wearing a bra and panties to eat. Bad timing for Ruby to show up since she took Josh’s bag at the bar. I guess someone was too pissed to remember about that or the date he made. I must have been drunk too because I don’t remember that part myself. Anyhoo she sees Gabby and eew she starts scratching while she’s having I’m assuming breakfast. If you have an itch honey maybe you should look into ointment or something because you just might have crabs. This was a crotch itch not a not big deal itch. You don’t go around scratching your parts in the living room or it could have been the kitchen.