Dishing The Soaps!

There won’t be any Brooke mocking this time since I like the outfit. At least there isn’t any weirdness going on since she’s had some odd shirts on but I guess I know nothing about fashion but I do know when something looks weird at least weird to me. Maybe she’s the one that let Bill in. Oh Boobess I know you want her gone but did you really expect her to drop out of sight or something? Someone needs to take her degree away because hanging out with Boob has caused her to suffer massive brain cell loss.

I so wasn’t surprised when Boobess called Stephanie. Oh yes call your best friend because you need Stephanie to butt in once again and work her magic. Oops her magic doesn’t seem to be working because wouldn’t they be together in wedded bliss instead of in this weird limbo where Boob doesn’t know what the hell he wants and these two chicks are fighting over him although I can’t figure out why. He’s no prize girls so move on to someone else. Well that’s nice to know that you’re not paranoid Boobess.

Oh Pam not a good idea to call the father and mother Mr and Mrs Morene although they could be a couple since she’s only six years older than him so it makes more sense than playing his mother. I’m sure Pam will grow on Nick but hey those facial expressions amuse me. At least it won’t be boring around the office with her around.

Oh Boobess that’s just pathetic telling the kids that Brooke hasn’t given up yet. Why is she so surprised about this? Brooke made it pretty clear that she wanted Boobess to work her healie magic before taking him back so shouldn’t he be fixed by now? I can’t understand why the idiot can’t be alone for a while. I guess thinking might be too much for him after all he’s Boob and am I going to have to come up with names for Tom and Steffy too for being morons. Butt out of your parents love life because that’s just gross. Focus on your own. I feel bad for poor Rick since she’s neglecting him and he isn’t allowed to get any so his wrist must be sore. At least make out with the guy for a while Steffy. Throw him a bone instead of playing matchmaker for Mommy and Daddy.

Well that’s good to know that the executive assistant wields ultimate power yet she can’t type. At least she knows how to make lemon bars which are made of lemons and bar. What is bar anyway? Is there any chocolate in it? Pam is just brilliant. I’m sure Clark feels safe with her on the job with her ultimate power. And now she’s implying that she’s the one that brought Forrester Creations down. I’m sure Stephanie won’t like that because she wants her sister to keep it zipped. Well at least she isn’t boring. And she gives the thumbs up for Whip Jones. Coincidence my ass Stephanie.

Um sweetie you told Boob to be with Boobess? Are you suffering from amnesia? You’re the one that thought he could be healed by Dr Boobess and handed back to you so why are you surprised to find him living with her when that’s what you wanted? Maybe she bumped her head and forgot about what she did. Even Boob remembers and now Brooke seems to be declaring temporary insanity. Well it didn’t make sense to me either not that I like Boob since I don’t.

I learned something today that you can bake with arsenic. I would have asked her too so right on Clark for asking her about that? Who knows if you can or can’t if you haven’t tried it yourself? Isn’t it like baking soda so I would think you could cook with it. Poor Clark is paranoid but I don’t blame him after Stephanie warned Whip about not eating too many of the lemon bars? Do they have laxatives in them? Maybe prunes?

Yes Whipple is an awful name but is Whip really better? I’d look into changing it entirely. I guess he could be a dominatrix or what would the guy version of that be called? Do they come in guys? I guess Clark’s salary isn’t too bad if Whip wants it. Parents that gave their kids crappy names should be spanked which is why everyone should get one free name change in case you happen to get stuck with a crappy one.

Brooke brought up a really good point. He just said he’d love his daughter more if she killed a child with the car. So why does he expect her to stop loving her son? Ooh is she going to make Boob thing? That might be a strain on him but it seems like no one seems to be thinking from the perspective of a parent. They just want to call Rick a killer when it was a horrible accident and no one seems to realize that of course he needs his parents support. Don’t strain yourself Boob. So what she’s giving up Rick now? Did I go nuts or did she just confuse the hell out of me? I think I’ll go with confusion at least for the time being.

Yes Brooke you did something stupid and now Stephanie wants Whip to try to get back together with Brooke. Why she wants that guy is beyond me? He’s no Owen that’s for sure. And where is Owen anyway? Once again I’m deprived of Oweny goodness. There wasn’t a bare chest to drool over at all. They should slip them in if I had to see stupid Boob and stupid Boobess and the Boobettes which would be the kids since I’ve decided Tom can be Boobette 1 and Steffy can be Boobette 2. No one seems to be interested in The Booby Bunch song that I may post on Sunday.

I missed the first few minutes but I’m going out on and limb and assume that I really didn’t miss anything at all. Philip and Stephanie were kissing while Melanie and Brady were outside watching. Okay pervs look away already. Let me see she probably said I can’t be doing this because you’re rich and I don’t do rich because Victor is evil. I do feel bad for them but come on make up your minds already and oh great lets throw Nathan in to make things even more complicated.

At least Chris was on since he’s entertaining. Sure Maggie’s a Nosy Nellie but come on Chris fess up you are too and you are an unwitting accomplice to Kate and her plot to murder Chloe with whatever that poison is. I guess that finally was Kate at the hospital. Well she has to show up because people would wonder since Lucas is either still flying to Hong Kong or maybe he’s already there. So another person starts hallucinating which has happened a lot this year. I’m waiting to see if I start hallucinating. There’s quite a list and yes I’m going to give it to you even though you didn’t ask.

1. Izzie: I wouldn’t mind hallucinating a hottie and her hallucinations were really good. A hot ghost with mind blowing sex sounds pretty good to me.

2. House: Well he kept seeing Amber but hey he had fake sex with Cuddy which he seemed to enjoy. Hallucinating really agreed with him but it landed him in the loony bin.

3. Booth: At least his hallucinations helped him out. Okay I’m sure Stewie wigged him out and then there was that bizarre dream he had so he got the fake sex too.

4. Sam: No good hallucinations for this guy while he was locked up in an attempt to wean him off the demon blood. No fun at all for this guy and a hallucination didn’t even rip off his shirt. Like I’m the only one that had that thought. Okay maybe I am.

And I think that concludes the list with Chloe being the latest and of course her hallucinations feature Daniel. I thought Lexie would figure it out since she’s no stranger to cheating but she didn’t. So it was another one of those I want to smack her moments. She might be thinking in a more sinister direction. Actually I’m not even sure if she’s hallucinating or dreaming since she is fading in and out of sleep so I just lose track of whether or not she’s awake or not.

Yes I don’t like the spelling but whatever it’s Ciara instead of Sierra who is celebrating a birthday. Aw how cute she calls Theo her best boyfriend. And Hope’s stalker is lurking around in the bushes. Of course no one notices the guy lurking around. Shame on you Abe after all you were a cop and Bo you’re a cop and hell Hope you’re a cop too so you should be more aware of your surroundings. Bo talks to Abe about the vision with Tommy bear. I guess they aren’t aware that Ciara made that trade with Tracy so she has a teddy bear again that she calls Tommy.

Shame on you Ellen you should have checked to make sure Ciara was following you. She decided to stay behind which is when Mr Creepy came up to her. His eyes were shown and he sounds familiar but I have no clue who he is. He tells her that it’s his birthday too and gives her a sucker. Sure she mentions that she shouldn’t talk to strangers but I guess Bo and Hope didn’t think to clue her in on not talking to birthday buddies not to mention the whole don’t take candy from strangers bit. He was just creepy but he didn’t take her. At least Ciara isn’t a creepy little girl.

Daniel is packing up and damn it I just wish he’d find the posion because if he did maybe they could figure out a course of treatment after all he did bring back Bo from the brink of death right? Instead he finds a shirt Chloe was in so he sniffs it and dreams about Chloe. Daniel if you’re going to leave can you please take Chloe with you? I’m thinking he won’t be packing his furniture and knickknacks which would allow him to find the damn poison.

Stephanie ends up leaving and we all agree that her heart was in the right place although Brady asked her why she was doing it. I think she does feel bad for being such a bitch before and this is her way to try to make up for that and the two are in love with each other. And he tells her that he’s given up on starting anything with Ari. Maybe that’s for the best since I still don’t trust that girl. There is something in that girl’s closet since she’s hiding something. Well she’s stupid because what girl would turn down the chance to have Brady unless of course she was a lesbian which would make sense since he’s a hot guy instead of a hot girl. Sadly he didn’t have the shirt off but I guess I can’t always have a shirtless Brady.

Stephanie has to get to that orientation and she hops the ferry. Damn that thing travels fast and Melanie goes with Phillip since he has a speedboat which sounds like fun. She goes to the hospital and asks the nurse where she has to go. Sorry but I have no clue what her name is. I’m not even sure if she has a name or not but I think she might have a crush on Daniel. Well you can’t blame her because he is cute even though he can be annoying with this whole noble crap. She ends up going into the locker room where she starts crying and hello Nathan’s there getting dressed so he ends up hugging her while she’s crying.

Leave it to Archie to come up with the brilliant idea that the boys were watching a porno which is why they wouldn’t let Michaela come in. That would be a bad idea so don’t use it although they were pretty desperate after finding all that money in the attic. Wow $100,000 is a lot of money. Yes I know that’s a dollar sign but I don’t have a British dollar sign so I’m using the dollar sign if that makes anything resembling sense. At least there’s no problem with splitting the money since even I can figure that out they each get twenty-five grand.

Hooray the McQueens are back and I’ve missed them. Yes they are my favorite family in Hollyoaks so I want to see more instead of less of them. Jacqui of course is still bummed about not being able to find Max. I wonder if she went to France since that was all part of Russ’s master plan actually it was France maybe. Newt comes over and he has to put up with the McQueens but I think he did pretty good. What was up with the fish? Well I guess it’s a good idea to ask if you can drink when you’re on medication but he’s not exactly legal yet since he’s sixteen so he has two more years before he can drink legally and of course this is the McQueen clan.

Elliot did have a good idea about waiting before splitting the money four ways but that’s if they can trust the others not to want to take some and do a little shopping. Who knows who might come looking for the money? Could that be what Clare was looking for after all she was searching in Warren’s flat? I’m sure she’s still in jail. I wonder if she’ll be seen again. Sure she’s a psycho bitch but that can be fun at times. Come on you know you think so too.

Ash talked Ravi into a fight and not exactly a legal one since this is bare knuckles. Since Jack was looking bummed Ravi asked for some tips. He’s still pissed at Darren and he was right I’m sure Hannah was very drunk when she married Darren. Ravi ends up nearly passing out so he shouldn’t be doing this because he could die what with that pesky aneurysm in his brain. He should just tell his family. At least Ash showed some concern for his brother but of course he didn’t tell Ravi about the fight not being legal before he agreed to fight. Why isn’t he fighting himself? Oh yeah he wouldn’t want to break a nail. I bet he’d be great friends with Enormous Jackass which will mean nothing to you unless you also watch Days Of Our Lives and hey he’s British too so they have that in common among other things. Do I smell a possible drabble in the future? Maybe you’ll just have to wait and see.

Oh sure Cindy you’re not interested in Tony’s money at all. How funny that Tony buys her jewelry to say sorry for thinking she was after his money which I totally think she is. Darren eats with Hannah in an attempt to make Cindy jealous. They both claim they aren’t but they both are. So yes I wanted to smack the both of them. Maybe you could get something for that plastic ring but I think Hannah gave it back so I guess that idea’s out. And that idea is still in progress because I’m still working out a few odds and ends since it’s a crossover.