Dishing The Soaps!

As a Ethan and Theresa fan I was thrilled when Lindsay and Eric were reunited although as different characters in Salem but come on I’m not liking this crap where Brady is still in love with Nicole and Ari gets pissed off after they were really getting along because she found out that he had tried to call Nicole six times. That isn’t good although he was trying to get her to come home. Um why didn’t someone try tracking her with her cell phone. Agent Macho shouldn’t you have thought of that since you’re the smartest man in Salem?

While Ari and Gabi were arguing Sami slipped away. I guess they stopped so they could change since they were wearing different clothes. Damn once again I was deprived of Rafe shower porn. Come on I want my shower porn and that includes you too Brady. I don’t want you to feel left out even though I feel like slapping you around a little. And I think Will doesn’t think much of Gabi either although she really had no way of knowing that she was being conned by Nicole after all lying is her forte.

Nicole ends up calling Fay probably because she knows Brandon wouldn’t help her out. She ends up getting her some money and a disposable cell phone. Maybe she tossed the phone already. Damn too bad Sydney doesn’t have a tracking device implanted in her. I think there was a show or maybe it was a book where the father did that. It would certainly come in handy to help find Sydney. Nicole just reminds me of Beth only possibly less crazy but hey if she keeps that hair the crazy just might seep on into her brain. I think Sydney doesn’t like the hair at all.

Sami ends up going to see Enormo who hasn’t moved out yet. Hey what about the whole you’re dead to me business. I was hoping for her to kick him or something. Well in case you haven’t gotten the memo I don’t like him after all I do call him Enormo Jackass and Enormo for short since I like the sound of Enormo instead Enormous which it was originally. Hey this is my blog so I can change the names if I want to. She asks him if he thinks Repulso is helping her and I have to wonder if he is after all she slipped out of Salem and was able to contact Fay unless his men are asleep on the job. Nicole of course went with the abusive husband angle. Well I guess in a way it is true since he was verbally abusive but come on this is Nicole and she tends to have that affect on people where you just want to yell at her.

Enormo wants to stay at the mansion since it was the last place Sydney was. Ah you figured out how stupid it was to argue in the foyer with a baby in the other room with an unlocked door. Someone really needs to be fired since the security sucks. Don’t they have security guards? There was some barf worthy moments and Rafe walked in which put that to a stop. I was hoping he’d knock him out. Well a girl can dream can’t she? He was almost humanish when he offered Sami the book of pictures of Sydney that showed her from the day she was born. She left him with his book and went home with Rafe.

It was looking good for Ari and Brady since they were talking until the phone incident. Couldn’t he delete those calls so she wouldn’t have seen them? I want them back together. I don’t want him pining over Nicole since she doesn’t deserve a guy like that and how could he want to be with someone that would steal another woman’s baby like that. Well there’s also the puzzle of why someone or rather why people want Sami together with her rapist when nothing about that is romantic.

Melanie decides to tell Nathan about kissing Poofy. She seems awfully calm about the whole swooning incident. I think she really does like Nathan and he would be better for her although there is that attraction to Poofy. Okay the dude’s hot but I don’t really like them together. But now it looks like Nathan is finally stepping up and staking his claim so to speak. They have no idea that Poofy and Wishy Washy just might team up to break them up if Poofy manages to talk her into it. Okay he sort of had a point about liking her the way she is but Melanie wants to change since she didn’t like the things her father forced her into doing. That is just so bizarre to think of Carly having an affair with Trent although it makes a weird kind of sense since they must have known each other otherwise how else would Max end up with Frankie since they were together when the Shawn and Caroline adopted them. Either I forget what happened or they never explained why Carly’s brother was separated from her.

Darren ends up getting fired because of Tom taking a few drinks. Well those drinks shouldn’t have been sitting outside like that where anyone could take a tip or two. Maybe Hannah’s problem is drinking since she’s doing a lot of it but I’m not so sure that was a good idea to in a sense encourage Darren to gamble since it didn’t go so well before after all he’s the one that lost the pub.

It’s like Lydia wants to become Sarah or take Sarah’s place. Amy’s getting suspicious of her. She’s taking advantage of Mike who is just a good man. He doesn’t have it easy since he has to take care of the kids because Amy isn’t able to do it herself. Maybe Kathy should come back to help out with her grandkids. I wonder if she’d recognized a fellow nutter since she did get a bit crazy there for a while.

Sheila and Elliot have a farewell interface that went into overtime. Well what else did Zak expect when he gave him the choice between training and having sex with Shelia. Gee what a tough choice. I am a bit confused. So would Elliot be the Iron Man? I’m not sure if this idea is going to end any better than the last one did although I was amused by Zak and Kris’s outfits when they tried Muffin Tops. I do like muffin tops the best since they taste better so they end up getting saved for last.

Oops I’m sure Lydia isn’t thrilled to read in I guess Sarah’s Diary that she’d been thinking about Zoe. I wonder if she’s going to flip out. Well she can’t if she expects to testify at the trial and avoid looking like the nutter she actually is. Hopefully she’ll start cracking and maybe reading what Sarah wrote will just send her over the edge. Well one can hope right? If I can’t have the other villain I’d like to totally flip out I would really like it if this one did. Being all crazy just comes off better in British. Am I the only one to think that?

I think Nev gave Darren a job but it isn’t manager. Maybe he’s back to being the bathroom attendant. Hopefully he won’t get into trouble gambling but since this is Darren he probably will. I think Cindy’s jealous that Darren is actually making an effort with Hannah unlike Tony who she believes doesn’t trust her. Aw is she sick of her husband already? Doesn’t she know that a prenuptial isn’t valid in England? I thought she did but she did bring it up when she was talking money with Tony. And the crazy thing is that he seems to actually love her although I’ve always thought these two just don’t work since she’s just in it for the money.

Oops Boobess’s date didn’t go as she planned. It turned out to be a giant nerd so Boobette 1 was dead on about that. Carl from the lab. It would have been funny if she stayed. Poor nerdy guy. They must have a lot in common. I wouldn’t be surprised if this scared her away from trying online dating ever again. I do have to agree that I don’t think people would have a lot in common with serial killers but she isn’t safe from giant nerds apparently. Well there’s always the option of asking for a picture before agreeing to meet.

Stephanie decided to leave Big Bear but on the plus side or maybe not because this means I’m doing another drabble I did get a name for the one I had planned on writing but never got around to writing. I do plan on doing it today since I have a name. She seemed to think Rick who I’ve never seen wear any jewelry let alone a necklace and hell I don’t think Kyle wore any jewelry when he played Brady either was the owner of the necklace. She asked to meet him and of course that just thrilled Rick. He ended up leaving so he missed her. Wow Brooke and Stephanie actually being nice but I guess even mortal enemies aren’t going to kick someone when they’re down after the loss of a parent. Brooke did take the necklace and started thinking about why it looked so familar after Rick told her because he came back after Stephanie left that it wasn’t his.

She figured out that it was Bill’s. So she goes over there. Bill and Katie look as happy as two peas in a pod or happy as clams or whatever. She asks him if he ever went up to the cabin which I still could have sworn was sold but I guess I’ll just shut up about that. He tells her that he’s never gone so that doesn’t look good. It wasn’t a big deal really although it was odd that he agreed to meet Boobette 2 up there. It’s not like they slept together but lying about never going to the cabin was just a dumb idea. He could have said yes and left it at that but now he has been caught in a lie which isn’t good and it isn’t good that he’s thinking about that kiss.

Am I the only one that felt bad for poor Carl who was left at the coffee shop when Boobess ditched him? Hey even homely people need people too. So instead she heads home where she spends time with her kids and Stephanie. Now I’m going to see about doing that drabble before my mind goes blank. It does happen. Maybe Boobette 2 could give Carl a try instead. I think he used to do commercials but I think he was on something I watched but what is the question of the hour since it just won’t come to mind.

I had a feeling that Elliot would end up breaking things off with Shelia. They just didn’t work together. I guess she’ll just go off to Belfast after all everyone walked out on her. See that’s why I don’t answer the phone to avoid telemarketers. That is just one of the suckiest jobs on the planet. They can drown their woes at the bar or rather pub. See I know some Brit speak.

Tom pretends to be sick so Steph ends up having Darren watch him. She still isn’t all that trusting of Jake which you can’t really blame her for since he did try to kill Charlie. That isn’t something people are just going to forget about any time soon. It is going to be a long time before people think that when they see him. He ends up taking Tom to The Dog to see Hannah which wasn’t a very good idea. I do wonder about Hannah though since she ended up puking when Tom did although she had a glass in her hand so it is very possible that she is having a relapse.

Since no one was watching him Tom decided to have a drink from I’m thinking a batch of possibly Margaritas or something. Where were the people they belonged to anyway? It was just sitting there a pitcher and a glass. So Tom snuck a few sips hence the puking since he got a bit drunk and ended up in the hospital courtesy of not so fun alchohol poisoning. See Tom booze isn’t so great after all. Now Steph doesn’t even want to bother with him after this so maybe she’s thinking that she should have left him with Jake. Darren can be an idiot at times but he can also be sweet so it is so frustrating since he does have his good points but he can be so stupid like taking a little boy to a pub.

Jacqui started her first day as a lunch lady. I guess they wear hats over there instead of hairnets. Well they do look better. I remember this one chick in the cafeteria that had a big bun on her head and a mole. She wandered around the place to make sure we ate our food. I’m just glad I didn’t have to deal with that every day. The only time something good was in there were during the holidays when they’d have that yummy cookie. She did go after Gaz when she saw him. Hey he’s lucky it was just salad tongs. It was looking like she’d be fired on her first day but thanks to Des she was able to keep her job so she’s going to be staying in the canteen which is British for cafeteria. So what do you call an actual canteen? See where there could be some confusion since a canteen is that thing you drink out of that’s round and you take with you when camping or hiking although I’m not sure if people use them anymore.

Stacie and Kristin head off to Vegas. When they go to the Ghost Bar and hey am I getting a case of deja vu here they meet some guys and one was some backup dancer for Backstreet Boys. Wouldn’t that be their cue to run away quickly or pretend to need to use the bathroom and ditch him? He seemed to be putting stripper moves on them and what kind of name is J Rock anyway? Maybe it was JD Rock but I think it was J Rock. Maybe he has a head like a rock. So Kristin ends up heading outside and calls Bobby who ends up coming to Vegas too. So much for the girls weekend.

Stacie found Kristin eating ice cream in bed and hello the shower is running. Out comes Justin Bobby wearing a towel which explains the champagne and ice cream. So classy and damn now I feel like having some ice cream. That’s kind of a weird combo. Well I guess it could be weirder since cookies and champagne would probably be stranger. She so wanted Stacie to see Justin Bobby come out of the shower but alas he was wearing a towel. Just think if they had to fuzz little Justin Bobby out. I guess they don’t do the blue dots anymore. Why were they blue anyway? See the weirdness that creeps into my head.

They end up going out and Stacie’s a big honking third wheel. Since Justin Bobby is so very classy they end up at a strip join but they do look like they had fun. And there was kissing. Yes Kristin kissed Justin Bobby and Stacie who really seemed to enjoy it. It was like the guy was trapped in a wet dream only real. And nothing says classy like wearing some strange chick’s panties on your head. I’m just not sure what the stripper did to Kristin. On her? Maybe she went down on her nether regions? Yes I even tried closed caption to try to figure out if the missing word or two would show up but no such luck.

Maybe now Audrina will give Derek a chance since he seems like a nice guy and she doesn’t have to worry about Justin Bobby although I’m thinking he’s going to pull the same thing on Audrina. Come on after four and a half years he claims it meant nothing. This is the dude who isn’t too bad one on one briefly but later denies things that actually happen like that phone call that Audrina made to him that he denied. Well he’s Kristin’s problem now but I kind of doubt she’d wait so long to get rid of him although she is falling into that pattern of wanting to give him the boot only to get sucked back in. Hell even his friends say he makes a crappy boyfriend.

That’s just bizarre that Charlie at least I think his name is Charlie is such a baby expert. That was just weird. And why does have have a baby name book? He was just chock full of knowledge and yes I went to YouTube and found some stuff. What like you didn’t do the same thing. So Spencer tested Heidi since he found a pregnancy test. What is that girl thinking? You don’t get yourself knocked up to get a baby when the guy doesn’t want a kid. She didn’t drink which was a surprise but it turns out that she isn’t pregnant but hey Enzo’s her favorite subject. He’s no Jensen Ackles. Now I need to go wipe up some drool since something popped into my head that involves a blue towel.

Well that’s nice that Natty gets that Amy’s in a bad place right now. That’s the problem with people they judge and don’t even try to understand what a person’s going through. This isn’t something that Amy can just snap out of it. I would imagine that in a way it’s like being depressed. Can I just click my heels and not be depressed? No I can’t. Does someone saying, “Buck up” or “Snap out of it” help? No it doesn’t. Sure Ste’s worried about Lucas but he really shouldn’t have pushed her.  It took me a minute to figure out what that thing was under Natty’s chin since I saw something dangling and couldn’t figure it out but it was the string for the hat. Why does the hat have a string? Can’t it just sit on your head? I guess it helps with the not falling off part.

Amy did take Leah out which is good but this is baby steps since you can’t just expect her to all of a sudden be a mother to her children if she just can’t handle it. Sadly Lydia’s taking advantage of Amy’s troubles in an attempt to who knows what. Ste was glad to see Amy since I think he wants her back but after her refusal to change Lucas’s diaper he’s backing off. They just need to be really patient with her. And now Lydia’s asking Amy out for a drink since she’s lonely and Lydia’s the one person that seems to be understanding of what she’s going through. I smell trouble ahead for that since I’m guessing this is a ploy. Maybe if things go south and the police realize that Zoe didn’t kill Sarah and the finger gets pointed at Lydia her new pal Amy will stand up for her or something. Unless she’s trying to recapture what she had with Sarah with Amy.

Good work Sheila way to scare off Elliot by saying you want to be married and knocked up in three years. Talk about pressure. I don’t see this relationship going anywhere since he’s still in love with Lelia. I was kind of liking Sheila at first but now she’s just annoying me. I think Elliot needs a polar opposite instead of someone a lot like him although on him it isn’t so annoying if that makes anything resembling sense. Maybe Elliot should read that book Zak’s reading to see if it could help him out. I’m not exactly sure what he was supposed to be apologizing for.

Oh Newt you’re being an idiot. He’s defending a girl he doesn’t even know and I agree that he does seem to be back to stalking her. He is intrigued by her but when he was describing his version of Rae it was pretty much Lauren in a nutshell so he had the girl but he ruined it. And he hurt poor Theresa by bringing up her mother. That has to suck to have your mother move away and not even bother to ask you if you want to come.

Darren is trying but Steph and Frankie were amused by this. Oh come on two in one shampoo and conditioner? That stuff is absolutely horrible. I think the shampoo doesn’t really matter since the conditioner is the important part. He ended up running into Theresa and after sticking his foot in his mouth he did end up cheering her up which was sweet of him. Sure he can’t really compare what happened between him and Jack with Theresa and her mother since she didn’t do anything that would cause her mother to take off. She was in jail and just decided to move to Spain leaving her daughter behind with Myra but hey at least she’s in good hands since the McQueens are a pretty cool bunch even though they are a bit nuts.

So they combined schools which reminded me of Grey’s Anatomy where the two hospitals merged but they weren’t wearing orange scrubs that made them look like prisoners. Gaz took the enemy of my enemy is my friend angle since he stood up for Theresa and the others. I’m still getting used to Newt’s hair or rather lack of hair. Rae and a buddy end up ambushing Newt in the bathroom and threaten him.

Lauren tells Gaz and there’s a playground brawl. Rae ends up getting knocked down but it was an accident since Newt stepped in trying to avoid her getting hurt. The girl seems to be nuts since she’s saying Newt will be her death. The guy’s apologized after all he was off his meds at the time but she’s just acting nuts. She’s afraid of him which is ridiculous since he isn’t exactly dangerous.

Amy’s back and still unable to deal with the kids and I think Lucas in particular. Hey where’s Ste? Maybe that’s where Mike brought him when Amy said she couldn’t look after Lucas while Mike went off to the college. She wanted her room back but um wouldn’t the spare room actually be Sarah’s room that they’re just now calling the spare room. Poor Amy’s dealing with a lot and of course losing her sister didn’t help matters any. That has to be horrible being unable to even look at your own kids and of course other people will just look at her and think she’s a horrible person but it isn’t her fault. It is just so weird that Lydia’s living there and she offered to move her stuff so Amy could have her room  back. I wish they’d realize what a nutter the girl is and toss her ass out or better yet put her ass in jail where it belongs so poor Zoe can be released.

Loretta gives Nancy the letters she wrote to Jake posing as Hannah. Nancy did end up reading them but of course she’s just writing them off as Jake thinking he was writing to Nancy so of course he’d say all the right things. Hell even Jake said she should just walk away from him since she’d have to give up everything. She was given a choice by Nancy to walk away from him and she’d forgive her and she chose Jake. That’s the thing she can see that he’s changed while Nancy can’t because of the hell he put her through so she doesn’t even want to consider that he got better and actually regrets what he did and takes responsibility for it.

I guess Cindy never found out what the other signs of aging are. Um wouldn’t stress maybe play a role and of course the evil sun? Well over there I’m sure the sun doesn’t shine as brightly but the sun is still there. She was totally jealous of Theresa who is now working for Tony. There’s nothing going on with the two but Cindy’s jealous. She ends up getting a chemical peel or chemical something that goes really wrong. That isn’t good at all and looks like my arm. Aw but that was sweet of Tony when he was talking to her about the signs of aging and mentioned elegance although I’m not sure if that’s a word I’d associate with Cindy. He also mentioned wisdom and style before she finally opened the door. So he ended up hugging her which she really needed although she needs to be careful about her face since that looks like it hurt. She should have taken Michaela up on her offer unless of course that’s where she went.

Kris offers to look after Charlie but while he’s playing hide and seek which was more like trying to find out who Loretta’s mystery guy is the little guy wanders off. Of course Nancy assumes it was Jake. Frankie just loved hearing about Charlie wandering off. Um that could have happened to anyone. It’s like she enjoys hearing about this since she’s pissed that she lost him but she had to choose her son after all he’s trying to get his life back on track. She can’t blame Nancy for that since she made that decision herself and it’s not like she can’t see her grandson. You can’t expect a person to stay with a child all the time.

Finally the truth is out about Loretta and Jake which is such a relief since Nancy went into bitch mode when she saw Hannah who had just offered to help look for Charlie. So much for making up. But Loretta grabbing Jake’s hand said it all so now Loretta is homeless. I kind of doubt that Hannah will be moving back in with her since she is being a bit bitchy. Of course Nancy’s going to think the worst of Jake but since Loretta wasn’t around she is able to see things a bit more clearly and that Jake is actually better and not that same person he was when he tried to kill himself and Charlie. Dare I say I think they’re kind of cute? Did I just say that? I should check for a bump on my head.

Oh Darren you’re never boring and I have to admit that he can be sweet at times. I wasn’t too crazy about that shirt he was wearing but it was sweet of him to cook Hannah’s favorite meal. Hey I love chicken too. As odd as it sounds I kind of think it is good for Hannah to be living with him since he won’t be on her case. Sure it’s hard because of the eating disorder but it has to suck that any time you don’t feel like eating or you happen to be sick that other people are going to jump to the conclusion that you’ve slipped which isn’t necessarily the case. Maybe she did slip after all it has been very stressful for her lately losing her best friend along with the other best friend being a bit of a bitch and it certainly didn’t help that Anita used her to get attention.

At least Anita has Ricky who is really sweet to her. Yes it was bad of her to lie about the eating disorder but she’s all messed up. She has to feel abandoned and she has to still be reeling from finding out that she was adopted. Lelia and Ravi don’t even mention it and it doesn’t help that the parents aren’t around either. So she’s being stupid much like Lauren was being stupid but that was to get their attention. I wonder if at some point she’ll want to look for her biological parents since she feels like something is missing and that she’s never fit in anywhere. It’s just good that Ricky’s around otherwise the girl would be in even worse shape.

Hey can I sign up for this too? Kris, Darren, Hannah, and Nancy spend the day in the dorm getting paid while the village does a bombing disaster practice exercise whatever. I blame India for the lack of food in there. I bet Hayley hides her stuff and why weren’t they there instead? Darren is amusing as always and he does have a point about Nancy since she does try to make up for her shortness by being a bit of a bully. She can be like a pitbull at times.

But on the bright side this exercise did allow the girls the chance to make up. Well they have Mal to thank for that since he locked them in. He could have at least got them a pizza or something. They should be together since they both miss Sarah so this whole mess has been a bit ridiculous. I’m not sure if Hannah slipped or not but I’m not so sure it was a good idea for Anita to go to Rhys and Suzanne about what might have happened since like Suzanne said the whole drunk too much and got sick could be true too. But Rhys just had to push it which never works so now she’s moved in with Darren.

If I was Hannah I’d have some rules for him since that was just gross. He was clipping his toe nails and he even ate one. I even think I saw him put his finger in his nose. Well they are married and she figures she might as well move in since her family can be suffocating. Yeah she didn’t answer Rhy’s question but I don’t really think he should have pushed it until they knew for sure if she’s not eating and making herself sick again. And maybe it isn’t such a great idea to listen to Anita although I think she really was trying to help and felt bad that she might have helped send Hannah over the edge.

Finally Anita fesses up that she was lying about having an eating disorder. Too bad it took Hannah having a bit of a relapse for her to fess up since I’m not buying the whole I drank too much bit. I had a feeling she was faking it because she wanted attention. Is it really a surprise after finding out that she was adopted and the whole mess with Gaz? I’m thinking Theresa won’t be talking to her anytime soon.

It looks like Nancy is jealous of Rafe since Kris was pretty friendly with him. Well I’d be touching his six pack too if I had the chance. And I just bet Kris would look adorable in the Relish uniform. I’m thinking they won’t last because Kris doesn’t want to be tied down with a kid and hell I’m thinking Nancy isn’t too thrilled about the idea either.

Well I don’t blame Jacqui for being grouchy since she failed her class or whatever. When did she go to class? I’m guessing she probably missed a lot when she went after Michaela and Theresa when they went off to London. She isn’t stupid. I think I kind of like Des although I had hoped that Jacqui would get back with Tony but I guess that ship has sailed. Where is Carmel anyway? She hasn’t been around in a while. Maybe she’s seeking enlightenment.

Michaela got it into her head that Zak was cheating on her with Frankie. The guy was just cleaning to get some cash so he could buy Michaela a new laptop. Suzanne ends up hiring him to try to get a stain out of the carpet and Mercedes and Michaela bust in calling him a man whore. Well it didn’t look good when they were peeking in the door. Come on she said it fell out or something which amused me. It did sound dirty but he was just trying to get a stain out but Michaela knocked over I think it was bleach which means Zak had to give the money back to pay for the carpet. She should trust Zak since he’s a good guy and in no way a man whore. I think Mercedes was feeling a twinge of guilt over kissing Calvin so she avoided a call from Mal at least I think it was from Mal. Yes saying the person is sick with stuff coming out at both ends is the ideal way to get someone off the phone quickly.