Dishing The Soaps!

Well I’m going to try this again but this time I’m going to combine the last two episodes together and I’m sure this will still take longer than the actual webisodes did. Sasha has to go to court but sadly I didn’t get to see the silly wigs they wear in court unless they just do that on TV.

Do they wear those wigs? Does everyone wear the robes? Doesn’t that confuse people about who the judge is? I guess if the judge is sitting in the right spot there’s no confusion.  There’s also the checkered police cars but anyhoo I’m off topic.She ends up getting a ban on driving for a year which isn’t too bad. Maybe it is bad but I’m a pedestrian so it wouldn’t really matter to me although I doubt that they make you go to court for drunk walking. Dave of course is late and he adds that touch of class by cracking open a beer that splatters onto Sasha. She didn’t bring anything to wear to court so maybe you should have at least one outfit just in case you need to appear in court.

There’s more partying and I wonder why Sasha just didn’t go home with Josh but she stays and thinks Dave chose her. Little does she know how wrong she is until the next morning when Pippa turns up. She is not happy about that but she does get some nice revenge. Josh forgot to take his prescription with him so Sasha rips his name off and hands it to Pippa saying he’s going to need it so I guess she didn’t get it although she was scratching down there. I guess it was just a random itch.

The timing was perfect because Dave was walking around with his hands down his underwear. Oh yes that’s a guy every girl dreams of having. Who wouldn’t want a guy that wonders around like that? He’s a keeper. So Sasha heads home and Pippa wises up which means Dave is all by himself since there’s no one left because Gilly went home but still hasn’t attended to his little problem.

Did I blink and miss something? Oh well I thought I’d work my way through these since I’m almost done with them since this would be the tenth one of the twelve. Weren’t they stopped by the cop in the last one? Who knows maybe I’m drunk and I just don’t know it. So was she talking about the drink or Dave?

Okay I’m having a wee bit of deja vu but screw it I don’t feel like going back to check since I’m just getting this out of the way. I knew it was another way to say drinking and driving bad. Got that already thanks. And Pippa totally saw the cop which is why she switched seats because she’s jealous. I wonder if she still has that itch. Well that was quite an image of her scratching herself while having breakfast that I really need to have burned out of my brain.  So much for letting your hair down. Sasha I suggest you use your heel once you’re out of jail.

I never did figure out what was on Josh’s forehead. I guess I’ll muddle through even though I’m a bit bored with this thing but hey it’s almost over. Okay it is over but not for me since I’m a wee bit behind. Wimp? I think that could be it and hello to the awkward morning after.

Wow I didn’t recognize Pippa in clothes. Just keep away from her and thanks for sharing that you’re wasted. That’s always a good thing to know. So of course a cop shows up. I guess that is possible but come on is that really likely to happen you’re about to drive and voila a cop turns up before you can get onto the road and get into an accident even though you’re on the wrong side although I’m thinking for us lefties it would make more sense so England seems to favor those of us who write with the left hand. And what was Rhys doing there anyway? I have no idea but at least he isn’t bugging poor Hannah. Damn I’ve missed my fix of Hollyoaks over the past two weeks.

Guess what Sasha and Josh are doing? Try again. Oh yes they are still drinking. I would think they’d be peeing and puking more but no one seems to be heading off to the loo for either thing. And who is Renaldo? Should I know who that is? If the drink is so scuzzy why are you drinking it? Wouldn’t that be your cue to put the glass down instead of continuing to drink? Well maybe the language barrier is rearing its ugly head again but somehow I don’t think so. Scuzzy sounds not good tasting so hopefully the thing is cheap.

Oh excuse me your highness. That’s something to really brag about being a Karaoke Queen. That would be a good reason to get drunk right there after all if I started singing peoples ears would start bleeding so I’m sure a few drinks will help stop that. At this rate they won’t be able to go into any pub since they’ve been tossed out of all of them. And poor Sasha’s dress was ripped. That was the shortest catfight ever.

I don’t think I’d want to grab her after all she does have crabs so I wouldn’t want to get too close. She’s pretty trashy but sadly there was no singing. Well I kind of figured that would be coming. Yes Josh and Sasha got it on and did it in Dave’s bed. Well at least it was a bed but of course that’s going to make things a wee bit awkward and hey Rhys is going to show up.

So the little bite sized episodes continue and this would be number 7 so over halfway done. I’m still trying to figure out what Gilly was talking about. More drinking and they try to go back to that pub or club or whatever you call it in England but the bouncer isn’t too keen on that after all he’s the guy that sent Gilly down the steps. You could at least apologize to him dude.

So Gabby at least I think that’s Gabby comes up saying that Josh is with her. Aw that sweets but oops the cat is out of the bag about the crabs. Yes she’s been outted as having crabs but hey you’re not the only one after all the McQueens ended up with crabs which wasn’t fun at all and I’m wondering if she caught it from Pippa after all she was scratching herself and she hasn’t been seen since at least I don’t think I’ve seen her since that image of her scratching herself might have scarred me for life and affected my memory. Another fun night and ooh it looks like there’s a cat fight on the way but how much of one can there be when the thing doesn’t even last five minutes?

So that waiting room in that clinic or hospital was certainly creep. Are they trying to make people run out of their screaming fearing that they’ll catch something while sitting there waiting to see a doctor? Yes Josh it is a good idea to ask where any objects are going to be stuck especially when it looks like that and don’t mention itching. I bet you caught something from Pippa after all she was scratching herself. That really should have been done in private instead of in the kitchen while she was having breakfast.

Wow prepare to be amazed I actually understood Gilly. Maybe I’m getting used to him or maybe the earth is rotating backwards but he said that Gabby I think is a decent girl and deserves some respect. Yes you should tell the girl Josh when you find yourself coming down with a case of crabs. Maybe this was just a fluke because most of the time I can’t understand the guy. Of course I want to smack Josh because he’s being a dick. Who’s Gabby? Maybe there was a glitch in the translation and he was actually talking about Ruby instead?

Oh yes Dave that’s real nice mocking Josh about his crabs. I wouldn’t stay so close to him if I were you. I do recall the whole McQueen clan came down with a case of crabs thanks to Myra getting it on with Leo. So I will laugh if he gets it. I’m sure he’ll get something if he’s doing that Pippa girl. Come on scratching your crotch like that isn’t a really good sign.

Ooh Gilly was having some fun with Ruby when Josh came in being all crazy saying she was his bird but what about Gabby? Is there a Gabby? I bet I’m wondering about things longer than the actual webisode lasted? Yes I’m just special that way. Dude you just met her so I’d say she isn’t your bird and hell she’s saying it herself so fly away Josh and get drunk since you seem to be really good at that. Well we all need to be good at something and he’s getting good at being a jackass.

I’m just glad these are so short because I’m starting to feel itchy. That was just rude tossing poor Gilly down the stairs like that. If you’re going to toss someone down the stairs at least give them a helmet first so they don’t scramble their brains and get all bloody with teeth possibly getting chipped or something broken. That doesn’t sound like very much fun.

And finally part 4 of this 12 part webisode thingie has emerged and wow it starts off at the flat and surprise there’s drinking going on along with eating. Sasha’s still miffed about them ditching her last night. I don’t blame her one little bit after all that guy wasn’t there to play Scrabble with her. But Josh is trying to make up for it and damn it I’m still having a problem understanding Gilly. Could someone please subtitle him for me? I wonder if British people have the same problem or if this is just an American having trouble with the accent.

So they decide to have a quiet night in where they play Twister. Do they call it Twister there? Of course it comes with drinking. Gee I’m shocked about that. Oh wait no I’m not since that’s all they’ve been doing so I’m thinking this is a subtle hint at drinking is bad which means someone is either going to end up dead by the 12th part comes up or ends up in the hospital. Let’s see if I’m right which I could be. Hey it does happen every so often. A girl’s bound to get lucky sometimes in guessing stuff.

Well Gilly does make a funny chicken at least I think he was trying to be a chicken. I’m not sure but there wasn’t any talking for me to not understand. Sure I get words but I could sit there in front of the guy and just wonder what in the hell he’s talking about. Sorry dude but that’s the truth and I’m sure I’m not the only one thinking that. So hope away and squak if that’s what you were doing. Who knows he might have gas or something. Or maybe he’s being an ape. I’m not sure.

Well I do have to say that this was a better one although it probably comes out better when you watch all of the episodes together to make one extra long episode or something. I don’t feel like doing math to add up the minutes so do it yourself. I’m sure this entry is still longer than this webisode but that’s because I’m a babbling. Was it just me or did Josh not look too thrilled about Sasha kissing Dave? Well he might have crabs or something judging from the way Pippa was scratching in I think the first part which didn’t give a good first impression.

Okay Hillary you certainly look like a Dave and sound like a Dave. And I’m glad I wasn’t eating at the time because Josh decided to puke right as Dave was sharing his little secret about being Hillary. Oh yum! At least he puked on the Twister thingie instead of directly on the carpet. Aw how sweet the boys are all out and the puke is just inches away.

So Sasha decides to join Josh because Spencer was sweet enough to give her some money. But Josh is being a crappy friend since he takes off leaving her alone. And let this be a lesson it maybe isn’t a good idea to accept a drink from a stranger since he might get the wrong idea. Yes the jerk followed her out of the pub right since that’s what you Brits call them but he was scared off before anything could happen.

So Josh wins the crappy friend award but at least he came when she called. Have some compassion since the girl did lose her boyfriend and just scattered his ashes. Ruby and Josh take her home although she says she wants to go to home home. I wonder where Dave went because he did make that vow to make her have fun even if it killed him. I guess he’s off scratching with Pippa somewhere. And yes the drinking continued so I’m thinking this is just a way to say drinking is bad.

So now Gilly shows up and he’s doing better than Josh which Josh doesn’t like. He ends up jumping on stage and of course he’s drunk and trashes a guitar. Come on admit it you’ve always thought it would be cool to do that. Sure I can’t play but smashing it looks fun. But that wasn’t a good idea Josh and I’m not sure that you actually impressed Ruby.

So he runs off and Dave follows him giggling away. I guess he’s a amused drunk and surprise the dude whose guitar got trashed isn’t happy about it so he punches Josh so he’s taking a nap on the sidewalk. Gilly being the sweetie he is even though I can’t understand him about ninety-nine percent of the time tries to call Josh and hello it has come to an end. Looks like Sasha is going to show up next.

This would be number 2 of this 12 part minisodes. Josh is still drinking and that seems to be the theme that drinking is bad. What was on his undies? Is he wearing Spiderman underwear? I guess he lost his wallet so Ruby was stuck with the bill. Not a good way to impress the girl.

It does look like things will be heating up on the next episode. I hope that girl Pippa washed her hands after all I know where that hand was before she started groping Dave. That is the same girl puking isn’t it? I think it is. Do scratching in awkward places in private since no one wants to see that. I guess she had a little too much fun. Where is Sasha she hasn’t been on yet?