Dishing The Soaps!

Sadly the sound went out so I couldn’t hear anything for the first five minutes. Charlotte ends up finding Sarah’s diary. I’m glad she was suspicious of Lydia who wanted them to take off before they came back with a verdict for Zoe. She made Lydia give Mike the diary. I think he was already thinking that Zoe didn’t but after reading the diary he came to the conclusion that Sarah killed herself. Can’t they object or cross direct over there? The eyebrows on what I’m guessing is the DA were amusing. I’m surprised they weren’t wearing a robe too.

Anita’s determined to get Ricky so she has Theresa help her with her hair and makeup. I did find if funny when Theresa called Duncan a fat head at least that’s what I think she called him. He’d have to wait until she was dead for a chance with her. So Anita has the shed all set up for Operation Seduce Ricky but he’s just terrified. Sure having sex with him will make everything all better. Somehow I kind of doubt it will.

Mike now thinks that Sarah killed herself after getting rejected by Zoe. Amy doesn’t agree since she still thinks that Zoe did it. Why isn’t she thinking about how weird Lydia is inserting herself into the Barnes family? But nope it looks like the real killer gets off. Charlotte was wearing an adorable shirt though. Lydia asked her if she was going to go with her but instead she told her to never come back. I think that would be for the best since she isn’t good for Charlotte either. She read the diary and realized what Lydia was doing. I think it’s because she still loved her that she was willing to overlook things but now she knows the truth. I do wonder why they didn’t get fingerprints off the knife that Zoe never touched which would have led them to Lydia. That was the fastest trial ever but at least Zoe is free and Kris was waiting there for her and Archie did his Zoe’s Free dance.

Cheryl challenges Steph to a dance off so the four of them which included Gill and Fernando started dancing. It seemed like a lot of effort for a round of drinks but Fernando started acting like an ass and Steph ended up slapping her. Now I love Cheryl but I really want Gilly and Steph together. I think Steph was just dazzled by Fernando’s good looks. I really don’t like him at all. But now things are heating up with Cheryl and Gilly. She really does like him but I think Gilly still wants Steph although I think he enjoys spending time with Cheryl.

Trials in England are just odd with the silly outfits but I did notice there was no objecting going on. Why didn’t Zoe’s lawyer recross or what was that redirect when Zoe wasn’t able to explain things. So the dude ended up tripping her up with no chance to really explain herself so things aren’t really looking all that good. But I did notice Mike thinking.

Of course he’s broken about his daughter’s death which is the main thing on his mind so he couldn’t really think about the possibility that Zoe might not be guilty but I think he might be now after seeing her on the stand. I would imagine it’s easier to just think she did it because that would make things simpler although no less horrifying.

I do wonder what Charlotte will do since she knows that Zoe didn’t kill Sarah. She’s keeping quiet for now but I really wish she’d say something. It is pretty obvious that Lydia’s the seriously disturbed one. Maybe she could get a room next to Will. Isn’t he still in the loony bin? Well Jake’s room is vacant at least for the time being. It’s just that Lydia is using Charlotte’s feelings for her against her along with the threat of suicide. How many times has she tried anyway? Was it more than the two times? 

I would have thought Zoe’s lawyer would have mentioned Lydia’s suicide attempts along with her being unstable and a very likely suspect since the other guy was saying no one else had a motive. Don’t they do Plan B in England although it would be pointing the finger at the actual killer even if the intended victim was Zoe. Someone was going to die that day and it turned out to be Sarah. Too bad it wasn’t Lydia instead because that would have been karma. Kris wasn’t able to go in the courtroom but he was there and once again Hannah was a no show. Even if she thinks Zoe might have done it I would have thought she’d be there for Mike. At least Amy went inside.

Gilly’s suffering the badness of Cheryl’s cooking. Oh the poor girl was trying and she really likes Gilly. It’s just too bad that Gilly is still head over heels for Steph. It even looks like he might get the courage to tell her. Where is stupid Fernando anyway? He hasn’t been around in a while. She found Gilly who ran away when Suzanne and Cheryl were in the kitchen looking for some other way to torture poor Gilly. What was she doing to his poor eyes? So never eat anything that Cheryl makes but I wonder why she didn’t get sick like the others did. Maybe she has a stomach made of cast iron.

Anita wants to be friends with Theresa and gets her to agree to listen to her. I don’t think that Theresa knows about the adoption since I think Ricky’s the only one. Maybe she should tell her since that does help explain why she was being all stupid about the fake eating disorder. It does look like Theresa is possibly going to give her another chance. For some people things do seem to come easier although I think it kind of surprised her when Anita announced that she wanted to have sex. I guess she looks at Theresa as an expert and I’m assuming she’s going to do it with Ricky.

Oops it looks like Gilly got a wee bit confused when he decided to dress up like Capain Jack. I’m not sure why he thought that when Cheryl was just cooking a Caribbean dinner. I guess he thought it was a dress up dinner party. That led to him getting teased by the Valentines. I wonder if he got sick. Cheryl didn’t for some reason but the others did. I do enjoy seeing Calvin wandering around shirtless which he’s been doing a lot. Well he’s blown any chance he might have had with her.

Josh is being such an idiot. Oh Rhys must fart a lot if Josh had to tell him to not fart for the day. I’m not sure if you can actually control that but just in case lay off on the beans on toast. India in typical fashion ends up having to go home after she rips her skirt off. For a girl that buys expensive clothes they don’t seem to be all that great since she’s always doing something to them. And that’s just sad Josh asks her out and offers to pay because she has money troubles but she has her eye on Calvin. She seems to think he’s just playing hard to get. Yeah right India and you’re a likeable person. Yes that would be sarcasm again.

The trial continues and I just want to strangle Lydia. She stops by to see Charlotte who is so sweet but she tells her to keep the fact that they’re back together a secret which should have made her wonder about things. Charlotte ends up going to the courtroom and the lawyer was talking about Lydia saying that Sarah got the wrong chute. Of course she did because Zoe was supposed to get it but that bozo put them on the ground meaning it was anyone’s guess as to who would get the bad one.

Lydia pretends to be sick so she leaves but Charlotte stays and notices the knife. It turns out that the knife is Charlotte’s since she lent Lydia her camping stuff. So now she knows that Lydia cut the chute but she doesn’t realize that Zoe was supposed to die. She’s going on about the chute being for herself since she wanted to die because Sarah didn’t love her. Of course this had to hurt Charlotte who is still in love with her for some unexplainable reason. Well it’s not like she can just shut it off. I’m not so sure she’ll do anything especially since Lydia threatened to kill herself if she went to prison. I’m thinking the loony bin is more suitable for the likes of her.

 Poor Kris gets the boot from the courtroom and the one lawyer or whatever was laughing at him. Dude look in a mirror do you really have the right to judge what someone is wearing? I happened to love Kris’s outfit since it was just so very Kris. I just hope that Zak actually manages to stay there for Zoe if Kris can’t get back in. Maybe he was just booted for the day. I did notice that Zoe’s parents weren’t there. I’m guessing they’re all embarrassed for themselves since they don’t seem like good parents to me.

Now I don’t use the word farce but I’m with Kris since this is what Zoe’s trial is a farce. They are silly outfits. Why are they all wearing robes anyway? Maybe it’s cold in the courtroom and of course they go with the robes. Oh yeah I just love the judge’s top and if you didn’t catch it that would be sarcasm. They have yet to create a font for any sarcasm yet. Zak doesn’t want to go in. Well that has to be weird to be going to the trial of one of your closest friends. At least her parents know she didn’t do it although I really don’t think much of them.

Oh what’s his name is back. What is his name? Stalkings? Something like that and the moron goes on about the funny girls to Mike one of the funny girls fathers. Is that British for lesbian since that just sounded odd? Talk about tacky but consider the one saying it since he is pretty tacky although amusing. Damn that crazy bitch is really doing a good job of making everything sound the way she wants it to sound and I saw that smirk she gave. Anyone in their right mind should have been able to see that she was guilty as hell.

Of course Zoe pleads not guilty because she is but things so far aren’t looking too good. Lydia is lying all over the place and twisting things around. Sarah was the one in love with Zoe. Yeah but how do they figure Zoe killed Sarah when that guy took the parachutes off their hooks meaning any of them could have taken the chute with the cut cord? Why doesn’t that moron mention that? The chute was meant for Zoe but him taking them down and putting them on the ground made it impossible to tell who was going to get the bad chute. I guess that idiot won’t bother to mention that because he’s all excited about being at a trial of a funny girl.

Hannah didn’t even bother to show up at the trial. Hell it looked like she didn’t even realize until she heard about it. Darren didn’t go either and Hannah didn’t eat again. I wonder if Darren will even bother to mention this to Nev. He just helped himself to Hannah’s breakfast. Yes it’s tricky because she could be upset about the trial since Sarah was her best friend but she isn’t being very supportive of Zoe like the others are. I wonder if she thinks that Zoe did it. Now that I think about it she was never all that close with Zoe. At least the outfits are amusing. Is there some kind of dresscode since everyone matched? The wigs are just silly.

Wow I had no idea that Theresa knew about cars although that outfit kind of looked like she was a mechanic. There’s something wrong with Jack’s car so Darren being sweet asks if Theresa would fix it and in return he’ll take her out to dinner. So she goes to Jack and offers to fix if free of charge. See Darren is a good guy although he can be an idiot at times. Well Theresa couldn’t get the cap off something or other so Darren gives it a try and ends up with oil all over his face. Jack isn’t amused so he tells them to piss off.

Darren takes Theresa out which is just brilliant for a married man to be doing and add in her being sixteen. Hannah ends up finding them at dinner and Theresa ends up getting sick. Well that was just a great date. That boy confuses me. One second he wants to be a husband to Hannah and the next he wants Cindy and now he’s after jail bait. He really needs to take a close on making better choices since he’s just a walking disaster. He does try but more often than not things just blow up in his face.

It turns out that Mercedes is fine and now it looks like she realizes what a great guy she’s married to. I just don’t like the idea of Calvin falling for her. She’s behaving for now but I have to wonder how long that will last. And it’s also tricky because Mal thinks Calvin is his best friend so as a best friend he needs to keep his hands off. It’s pretty obvious that Carmel is still in love with him so I wouldn’t mind if they got back together.

It was so good to see Myra. Damn it’s been a while. She even got all dressed up and went to the party that Mal threw for Mercedes. Shouldn’t they have her with Mike after all she knows what it’s like to have a child killed? Not to mention it would be fun although poor Mike is shattered so he could use some cheering up. And maybe Myra would realize what a psycho Lydia is.

Mike went to visit Zoe to beg her not to make him go through a trail. The poor guy is just devastated but he was willing to listen to Zoe. I think on some level he knows that Zoe didn’t kill his daughter but he’s so wrecked over it that he isn’t thinking straight and it isn’t helping that Lydia’s wormed her way into his home and is trying to be Sarah’s replacement. It looked like she was getting through to him and the fact that he was willing to sit there and let Zoe if I’m not mistaken hold his hand shows that he really doesn’t believe that she’s guilty.

Lydia of course didn’t like the idea of Mike going to see Zoe because she had to know that after talking to her that he would realize that she was innocent. He wanted to find out if Sarah had a diary to see where her head was at since it is possible that he’s thinking it could have been suicide although I would imagine that’s something you really don’t want to consider since in a weird way it would be better if she was murdered if that makes any sense. Hell I said it and I’m not totally sure what I meant myself. Of course Lydia already found Sarah’s diary where she wrote about her feelings for Zoe and some not so nice things about Lydia. I’m assuming she destroyed it so she offered to help him look. I’ll admit she’s good because she’s acting all supportive but she knows he want find the diary since she already found it. Who knows maybe she didn’t destroy it since there had to be some good parts about her.

Josh is starting to wonder about Hannah. It does look like she’s drinking instead of eating. Of course if she was drinking Vodka you couldn’t tell if she hid it in soda. She was going to go out with Josh but when she saw Darren she ended up going off with him. Things aren’t going too well for the poor guy. That is sweet of him to let Jake have the credit for saving Holly although I’m not sure if that was a good idea or not since he’s totally in the doghouse and I’m thinking Cindy isn’t too happy with him. I do wonder if Darren will really spy on Hannah for Nev. Well it might be a way to get another chance or would this be third chance at The Dog? But of course they just might end up spiraling down together.

Well Dom decides to pay Josh back for stealing his goat. Hey where did the goat go? I wonder if the goat trashed the place or if it was Josh and Michaela? He decides to do a little redecorating with fish. I wonder what he wrote on the board thingie. Damn that place is going to stink when they get home. At least he put the food to good use with the freezer broken or something. Um couldn’t they just get some ice and maybe see about putting some of the food in their flat or perhaps asking Frankie and Jack if they could store some of the food at their place and maybe at the store?

Since the lights were bad or something Holly ends up getting electrocuted which was a bit of a letdown since I want more with my electrocutions. Darren saves her but he decides to let Jake take the credit since Jake’s been having such a tough time being lately. That is so sweet but of course Darren ends up getting fired as a result but at least Steph knows the truth and he did tell her to stop playing with the lights. He was going to have Jake help him in getting new ones but didn’t have a chance since he was taking dog shit off of Holly’s shoe. So the chance to have the whole family together didn’t go very well.

Ste’s taking care of the kids so Amy decides to go out where she meets up with Michaela and Sasha. Josh is like a puppy following around India but much like Cheryl she seems to have her eyes on Calvin who isn’t interested. She kissed him but he wasn’t into it and she did mention Mercedes. I’m not so sure about the happily married part. Oh please don’t have him end up with her since that would just be a disaster not to mention it would break Carmel’s heart.

Amy gets home where she finds Ste conked out on the couch holding Lucas with Leah sitting there too. That guy has come a really long way from that guy who hit Amy and ran that scam for Leah. She should see someone to help her deal with her problem since it’s not just something she can snap out of. It has to be overwhelming to have two kids at such a young age. At least she can somewhat deal with Leah but of course when she was first born Amy stayed away from her too.

Frankie of course didn’t want to see the truth about Jake moving too fast and Jack agreed with her. Instead of it being temporary Jake wanted Loretta to move in permanently. Steph was worried and rightly so since it would have been better if he took things slow. Frankie loved seeing him happy so her and Jack moved the couch to his room for a more homey look. Steph did warn Loretta who has been looking for a place. And ugly Jake rears his head. See Loretta you wouldn’t have to deal with this if you tried working things out with Dom since he’s such a sweetie.

Dom gets an idea since he has a case of insomnia otherwise why is he up at four in the morning. He gets a goat that he dresses up like a reindeer. When Josh, Michaela, and Dave see him they decide to goatnap him. Dom is upset so he ends up getting some I’m not even sure what that was it could have been parsley or something. Don’t goats eat anything and everything? And what’s endangered anyway the goats or the reindeers? They take him back to the flat and stick him in the bathroom. Well if you’re going to have a goat you may as well put him in there right?

India tries to sweet talk Josh into cleaning up the place. I noticed she didn’t offer to help. Nope I’m still not liking her at all. So when she gets back she finds her shirt which was chewed up a bit. I guess it didin’t agree with Rudolph. Well if she ironed it and wore it like she planned it wouldn’t be ruined. She flips out when she finds the goat in the bathroom. She didn’t seem to realize that Rudolph was a goat. Michaela ends up taking Rudolph back and Dom’s at the table wiped out since he was searching for his goat and put the rope back on the hook or whatever. He wakes up to find Rudolph helping himself to the bowl of greens. At least Tony got amused about someone taking Dom’s goat. Where did he get him anyway? Did he rent him?

Mercedes is in the clear but I’m thinking she’s rethinking the whole marriage thing. Well I’m surprised she managed to last this long with one guy considering her history. Hell she seems to have her eye on Calvin. Yikes talk about a crappy place to be since Calvin’s friends with Mal and Mal shows him this ring Mal bought for Mercedes since it is their anniversary. Oh the poor guy is going to get dumped and he’s such a good guy too. Can I slap her please? I really hope that Calvin and Mercedes get together since I’d rather him move on to someone else or get back together with Carmel. But please don’t hook up with India since I can’t stand the girl. Maybe she’ll grow on me but I kind of doubt it.

Oh yes butt hairs and leg hairs are so easy to confuse aren’t they? Frankie borrowed without asking Steph’s scarf and gloves and she brought up her razor.  They run into Loretta who was off to the Laundrette to do a wash. Frankie thought it was so eighties of her. Um do they not wash their clothes in England? They do have the washer and dryer in the kitchen of all places. I’ve never understood that. At the Bed And Breakfast that I’ve never heard of she can’t wash her clothes so Steph invites her over to do a wash and also to spend some time with her after all she’s dating Jake now. Weird isn’t it?

Mercedes is still all wigged out about her sample getting misplaced. Hey it happens but that doesn’t mean she has HIV. Of course she’s looking on the negative side of things which I get. So the only one that knows is Calvin. Calvin really dodged a bullet there when he didn’t sleep with Mercedes since he’d have to worry about getting tested himself to be on the safe side but nope they just kissed. I just don’t get why she won’t tell Mal after all he’s her husband. Aw he even offered to buy her tampons.

Gee what a surprise Cindy’s being a bitch. I guess she’s too good to take the bus. I don’t understand why she’s pissed at Tony because he had the nerve to want to send his kid to a good school. He was doing that before Cindy was in the picture but she seems to think he should drop everything and sent Holly there even though he can’t afford it. What does he see in her? I doubt that if Dom raised the prices that it would have helped all that much. I wish he’d just wake up and realize that Cindy’s only after his money and it’s not like he’s mega rich anyway since there doesn’t seem to be anyone in this village that’s really rich. Of course he’s going to take care of his own son first after all Harry’s his son and he would send Holly there if he had the money but he doesn’t so Cindy’s just being a total bitch.

Well that’s just weird having Frankie ask Jake to guess whose knickers she’s washing. Do you want a gold star for tossing her clothes in the washing machine while she takes a shower? So Loretta ends up getting invited to lunch. I do have to admit it was cute how Jake checked his hair when he heard Loretta was there although I can understand Steph getting worried that he’s moving too quickly. They haven’t known each other that long so they should take things slow but he seems like he’s one step away from proposing.

Talk about awkward having the mother of the guy you’re just dating asking if your boobs are real. That should be saved for Thanksgiving or since that’s already past maybe Christmas. And maybe hold off on that stripper talk including the pole until later too. Jack did seem to be into that so who knows Frankie might show up at one of her classes. I’m sure Jake and Steph weren’t thrilled to hear these two chatting about something the kids really don’t want to know about their parents. You dirty old dog you Jack but I can totally see them liking it although I’m trying not to get a mental snapshot. Frankie ends up choking and Loretta gives her the Heimlich which probably spoiled Jack’s mood since he got hit with the bone or whatever the hell it was that came flying out of Frankie’s mouth. Well Frankie’s cleavage was on display in that dress. One of them looks like she’s trying to escape.

I guess everyone is thick at Holly’s school. There must be something wrong with her since she wanted more work. Huh? That just doesn’t compute. She wants to go to Harry’s school which led to the whole I’m pissed at you for not sending my kid there. Hello he isn’t obligated to send her there. Where is the father anyway? She must have got that I want more schoolwork from her father since she certainly didn’t get it from Cindy. Aren’t you supposed to try to avoid more work at school? Maybe that was just me.

Mercedes is being a bitch so that whole I need to get some tampons isn’t a bad excuse since she’s being horrible to Malachy. She knew what she was getting into along with the risk that she could get HIV too but she went ahead anyway. So it’s pretty stupid that now that her being HIV Positive is a reality that she wants to blame someone else for her maybe getting it. That’s just stupid. No one forced her into the marriage and for a while she seemed happy.

Mal was sweet he had a picnic set up for her and he’s apologizing. He wants to get away and she ends up being a bitch. She should hang out with Cindy because they are both being total cows. So now she’s trying to blame Mal for her dreams not coming true. I could understand being upset but she can’t blame Mal for catching it after all she did choose to be with him even with the risk that she could catch it too. Hell she’s lucky she didn’t catch it before with all that sleeping around that she did. So because she might have it her dreams can’t come true? That’s just rubbish. Why does she think the hospital is lying to her? Isn’t it possible that it was just a simple mixup? She doesn’t even know what’s going on. Okay I just want to smack Mercedes for being so horrible. It’s not like he kept it a secret from her since she knew about it and this crap about I won’t ever forgive you if I get it is just bullshit.

Oh my because of Loretta saving her life Frankie’s invited Loretta to live with them. Aren’t they out of room yet? Frankie doesn’t seem to be worried about Jake wanting to take Loretta away for the weekend. After saying he’d do anything for her because she saved Frankie she suggested dinner at the new French restaurant but he suggested a weekend in Paris which has Steph worried. Maybe she should be since he is moving a bit fast. Frankie’s brush with the other side has made her frisky since she was dancing with Jack there. I kind of hope she does go to Loretta’s class since that would be entertaining. Maybe Myra could come along too since I’ve missed her and hell it would be entertaining wouldn’t it?

Oh Carmel how I love you but man you really don’t know when to shut up. Mercedes is going in to get an HIV test and she’s scared but Carmel keeps knattering on and ends up freaking out Mercedes. What in the world was she wearing? She was wearing a beret. Maybe she’s going to pop over to Paris for a croissant or something. She’s all excited about being a cop again or whatever the hell it’s called since she isn’t a cop cop.

Aw how sweet Calvin got her a pen as a gift. And thank you for taking your shirt off since I did enjoy the view. Later he ends up finding Mercedes in the bathroom crying because she thinks her test results are positive. She’s afraid because they want her to come back in right away or something. But she doesn’t want anyone to know not even Mal.

I think Rae’s the crazy one. It has to be hard for Newt coming face to face with someone that looks like the girl he made up and fell in love with. I don’t even want to go there with how him and fake Rae did well you know. Now she’s telling him to drop out. Hey bitch he was there first so who in the hell do you think you are telling the guy to drop out of school? Why don’t you go to another school if Newt bugs you so much after all she’s the one going on about him being the death of her or whatever.

Since Gaz is an ass he’s enjoying winding up Newt. In full view of Newt he gives Rae his number which of course sets off Newt. He had already had a run in with Duncan who was being a total ass and living up to his horned status after all Nev did see him with horns. You don’t walk up to a stranger and start shit like that asking about him speaking to the devil or whatever. Why do you ask that Duncan? Do you want to know how your Dad is doing? Before Newt could punch Gaz he was stopped by Jack who was walking by. He ends up talking to him and kind of blows off Darren who tries to invite him to family night at the pub.

I’m thinking that Hannah’s going with a liquid diet these days because she only seems to be drinking instead of eating. Now Nev wants Darren to spy on her since Nev once again put his foot in his mouth. Don’t say she’s fragile since that’s just going to push her away. And why are they already talking about Christmas? Unless my calendar is wrong it isn’t even December yet. At least Darren will get his manager job back at the pub but that had to hurt when Jack walked away although it was him worrying about Newt and really had nothing to do with Darren and the issues between them. Hopefully Darren will keep an eye on her and not say anything to set her off since of course something is wrong. That would suck to have her drink herself to death after nearly dying from an eating disorder.

I think Hannah and Darren are growing on me but maybe as friends instead of husband and wife. Aw how sweet she’s not only his wife she’s his mate. Okay that sounds odd when written in British because there are a couple different meanings to the word but in this instance it would be friend. She can identify with him wanting to fall off the wagon or whatever you call it when a gambler starts gambling. She even refused to give him his laptop which is a good idea. Nice hat Darren or rather sombrero.

Cindy is thrilled when Tony gives her access to their joint checking account. The dude will live to regret that since she went to Darren telling him the scam was back on. I’m just not sure if he’s up to it. Oddly I think the idea of him being with Hannah is growing on me. Did I just say that? That was sweet of Tony but come on dude you do know that she only married you for your money while Jacqui actually loved the guy. Well he’ll just have to learn the hard way.

Newt is still fascinated by Rae. Maybe he likes the insane because that girl is nuts. Gaz even steps in but I think it’s because he likes her. I guess he’s decided to try another girl that might be more willing to say yes to him. I’m just not sure why she thinks Newt will bring her to her death. Is this something British that I’m missing because I’m an American or are you Brits just as puzzled as I am? That would be your cue to answer if you’re reading this. I knew she was going to rip up that picture he drew of the other Rae. Okay I guess that would be freaky to have this guy that made up another you and this other you killed herself but he’s already apologized. Maybe this one should have been the one to kill herself since I kind of liked the fake Rae.